I have found that confrontation like this with a jealous irresponsible friend is not necessarily productive.  She is obviously insecure and out of control with her own life. If you want to continue your relationship with her and help her through this difficult time try reassuring her of the qualities that you have admired about her...her loyalty, sense of adventure, or whatever it is that have made you friends in the first place. That I believe is what she's looking for.  Tell her you'd like to spend time alone with her (she is on house arrest). If you feel the friendship is no longer valuable to you then in a kind way begin to distance yourself from her.  If she confronts you on this then explain in a calm way your feelings about her attacking you on your choice of friends etc.  Good luck.

 There is good and bad in all social groups and making right decisions is part of becoming a responsible adult.  Sounds as if your friend is feeling left out and a bit judgemental about your new friends.  Find common ground and stay away from conversations about your new life.  If this was a good friend, give her a chance but don't let it compromise your beliefs.

I have had only positive experiences with snowboarders. Their passion for their sport is contagious and and fun loving.

And by the way,  why are you hanging out with someone that has been arrested? Doesn't sound like she's the authority on bad influences. Sounds as if you're growing apart at this point, maybe some distance would be good for both of you.

 Sounds like your friend is jealous.  You are free to meet new people and make new friends, she is not.  She may also feel that these new friends are replacing her.  That would hurt.  If this really is a friendship you want to maintain, try to make your time together about her. Talk about shared interests, play games, listen to music.  Don't talk too much about all the fun you're having without her.  Try to understand her jealousy, not for her sake, but for your own.  It will help you keep your cool.

You refer to her as a former friend.  If she really makes you uncomfortable, it could be that you are growing apart.  This happens to old friends even when they are not under house arrest.  You develop different interests, no longer enjoy the same things and the friendship fades away.  You are in an abnormal situation, your old friend needs your support right now and naturally growing apart will be seen as desertion.  Be patient, be kind.

Continue to enjoy your new friends, have fun, but don't rub your old friend's face in it. When this is over, you may find you and your old friend no longer have enough in common to sustain friendship. On the other hand, your support and understanding could lead to an even stronger bond.  

But of course, there are trade schools that are wonderful if you have made a decision as to a certain job you would like, for example,beautician, esthetician, plumber, electrician, mechanic, etc. Usually internship is associated with college students but if you offer your time to work for free or less, you may be able to learn a lot. For example a job in a restaurant helping with food prep could provide you with a hands on education in being a chef.

There are trades schools and other programs (including on line education), that don't involve a four year degree. You need to decide what interests you for further work and start googling and schools will come up.

There are so many options. See a counselor and talk about what's out there. Your school guidance counselor should be able to help. Career counseling is available, and you may even find free or low-cost counseling. Look on-line. There are tests you can take to determine aptitude and self-help books that will give you ideas. If you really don't know what you want to do, take a year off and work, save enough money to travel, now is the time to find what you love. 2 year colleges are also a good place to explore different options, Try a photography course, a cooking course, try animal training or landscaping. Like I said, so many options. You may find that what you love is trying new things, just don't do nothing for any long period of time.

I loved college and education but my boys didn't enjoy school like I did. My older son went to a tech school for two years and finished his program in mechanics. There are so many things available,so many specifi schools: auto mechanics, motorcycle mechanics, truck mechanics, welding, beauty schools, massage schools and also the art schools and  craft programs, glass blowing, ceramics. Google whatever your interests are and you will be amazed at the opportunities to learn some obscure skill that you always thought you wanted to try. Try it! It may be the best thing you can do and the better fit for your life.

No not necessarily, you can also apply to many colleges as undecided. However some specialized colleges might ask you to apply with a major, such as, medical, art, engineering schools.

No, apply as undecided or liberal arts, Most schools don't make you declare a major until the end of Sophomore year. Even if you have chosen a major in Freshman year, you can change it. Just check your school's policies on switching.

No you don't. Even after you have declared a major as you enter your sophomore or junior year, you can always apply to change it.

Usually

Depends on the college/university but in most cases the school likes you to live in the dorm freshman year. If they don't offer dorm living then the colleges/universities usually have a housing office to help find apartments. It's really a good idea to live in the dorms freshman year in order to meet new friends.

Some schools insist on it, others strongly recommend it, the reason being that it's a good way to meet people and really feel like a part of the school. If you are really unhappy living in the dorm freshman year then see if you can find off campus housing and bring your problem to a school dorm administrator, If they won't let you move off campus, they may allow you to switch rooms. I think it's also important to remember that freshmen year of college is a big adjustment for many people, I know so many young people who were miserable freshmen year and ended up loving their school.

Many colleges require you to live on campus your first year. It is a good idea, It gives you the opportunity to live the campus life and get close to your school and you may find the social intellectual interaction of life on campus stimulating.

A good place to start is with your guidance counselor. Think about what's most important and go from there, location, major, $$$,and whether if you need SAT scores. Financial aid needs to be explored because there are often solutions where you may have thought a school was unaffordable.

You usually start with your college adviser but pick up a college book at the library. They are huge books with every college in the country. There is a quiz on collegeboard.com that can help you narrow down colleges by area, grades and interest.You could start by picking a state, major, or size of the college. Also, ask around to friends and family.

OK, I agree you should start with a guidance counselor, college adviser. There are great books out there, and Princeton Review on-line can be very helpful. Start whittling down your options by thinking about what you want. Urban, suburban or rural, small or large, close to home or far away, highly academic, sports, classics. What do you want to do? A teaching College, Sciences, the Arts. Different colleges are good at different things. As for money, Yes, it's very important to your final decision, but don't eliminate a school because of the cost. See what kind of aid is available. There are so many scholarships and grants out there. If the school is really right for you and you are what they are looking for, they will help you with work scholarships, grants, sports scholarships. They offer scholarships to tuba players, if they have a marching band. Don't look at the cost until all avenues have been explored.

There are great books with colleges and description of them. If they are not in your library, then check with your college counselor, or a local bookstore. Maybe you could share one with some friends. It is great to visit the colleges in your proximity. Take a road trip junior year with a friend or a parent. You get a better feel for a place when you are sitting in the quad or classroom. There are students who give tours. Be sure to look at the College Catalog of courses, course offerings. One of my sons was going to go to a college and we were looking at the list of classes for his entry, and we couldn't find courses that he was looking forward to in college.  There can be some interesting options for math and english requirements. You might find the art department doesn't have the animation class you may have thought you wanted to try in college. Take a year off and work or travel if you can afford it and can have opportunity. It is best to get into several colleges first and ask for a year's deferment. Keep your options open. Don't close doors.

 What can I say...I am impressed with your choice of those you admire as I have two sons on the Frends crew.  Not all of us are born knowing our life purpose but you need not look at this as a burden but rather choose to embrace the process of self discovery.  Your childhood can hold important insight into what naturally inspires you before the societal pressures of adulthood...was it art, music, helping others, science, sports, reading, etc.  Find others who share your interests by making friends, reading, researching, experiencing, etc and here is where your passion for something can intensify.  My boys didn't begin by being professional snowboarders or even making a decision to do that..they began by falling in love with a sport.  My son Luke just interrupted this message with a phone call and I read him your question and here is what he said "tell him to follow his heart." He then mentioned the law of attraction....this is best presented inthe famous movie or book The Secret and can be very motivational.  I think my son Jack would say don't be afraid to "go big!"  Have fun and good luck!

 Deciding what to do with your life is a process that can change as your life changes.  Always go with you passion.  If you're not sure what your passion is then try going to school or take classes in things that might interest you.  If school isn't your thing, then maybe an interning in different jobs can help with the decision making.  The main thing is not to stress about figuring out your life, go with the flow of life and usually you'll get signals along the way.  The boys in the Frends crew are all hardworking and flexible people.  Whether it's snowboarding in competitions or coming out with a new products, they never stop working for their goals.  This is why their successful in their passions.  Life is a journey, enjoy!

Time will tell. Elvis has a song I'm All Shook Up that says it well.

Good question, I think in the beginning of a relationship, love and sex get a bit confused.  In time you should be able to separate the two feelings. If you can't stop thinking of the person all the time (not just in bed) then it's probably love or at least a deeper feeling then friendship. Love is a wonderful thing and if you do find it, treat it well.

Love at first sight is probably lust. When you find someone who ultimately wants what you want out of life, a person who thinks of you before they make a major decision, a person with whom you are always able to be yourself, and a person who is sexually attractive to you, ask yourself if you feel the same way. If you do, it could be love. Love is not easy. It takes time and work, but exploring love with a person you find sexually attractive is a lot of fun.

It is hard to know at first. Sometimes women and even you men, like to think that you are in love when you pursue a relationship that really is about pheromones and lusty attraction. That is OK too, but we sometimes feel guilty about that. Almost every girlfriend /boyfriend connection or sexual hook up is in the search for love. Enjoy the search but be careful out there, careful with your heart and your health.

Love is undeniable. If you have to ask then it probably is not love. Love can mean different things to different people. We live in a culture where the word love can be overly used. We easily say things like I love ice cream, I love that song, etc.

Does your heart skip a beat when you hear from that person? Haha-just read Michele's answer and ditto.

OK, again, time. My heart skipped a lot when I was young, and it was mostly lust. Love grows, slowly, and true friendship is a part of it. You'll know. Do you care for them even when you're angry and they are at their worst? Do they care for you the same way? Then maybe it's love.

It helps to have the other person feel the same passion and affection for you. Many times one might find that he/she is in love, yet the feelings aren't reciprocated. It is a wonderful thing when you find someone who shares interests and treats you like the special person you are.

 Every state has different requirments.  Check out this site to learn the procedure in your state. electionland.com/.  You must be 18 years old by the time of the election, a US citizen and usually you need to live in the area you plan to vote in for a certain period of time.  If you will not be in your voting area at the time of the election, you can apply for an absentee ballot.  Again, different states have different guidlines. There are online applications for registration. Try www.rockthevote.org/ and often, especially in an election year, groups make it easier to register by setting up tables on college campuses.  

 The fact that you are asking this question means that you might be feeling you are spending too much time on wanting to have sex.  It is normal for young adults to be preoccupied with sex but if you are feeling an in balance in your life then maybe it's time to step back.  Sex can complicate relationships big time, especially if you are having it with more than one partner.  Sex is a normal human expression meant to be enjoyed but needs to be in a relationship of trust. Using protection is part of that trust. 

 It's not too much sex as long as it is with someone that is committed to you.  Having said that, if sex is inferring with your everyday life then it might be too much sex.  If you can't get your homework done, make it to your job or class because you want to have sex, then that is too much sex. While you're dating you are going to experiment with possibiliy a number of sexual partners.  Just be careful, use protection and make sure to take care of yourself, physically and mentally.  Try not to confuse sex with love but I will say that sex with love makes for better sex.  

 The fact that you mention not wanting to get a 'reputation' leads me to believe you are more worried about what other people think.  Sex is a grand and a glorious thing.  Too much sex is only an issue if it interferes with your life or puts you in an unsafe position.  If you are having sex with multiple unknown partners, you may be putting yourself in danger, but if you are enjoying having sex with more then one partner, "friends with benefits", who you know and trust, in a safe environment and you're honest about your other invovements, I don't see a problem.  Others may judge, but it's not their business.

If you are in a committed relationship and enjoying more frequent sex then anyone you know, good for you and your partner!  Otherwise, be careful, stay safe, use protection, don't bring strangers into your home and keep it honest. 

I would like to think that a healthy life involves frequent and lots of good sex, but it is an addictive behavior if it gets in the way of your life, relationships with family and friends, your job, your class work and if you are being unsafe. If you are thinking of having sex all the time with people you don't know that you see on the street, that is a problem. If you are having frequent one nighters with new people, that is not a healthy practice.

Being single, I would love to have that close friend that I could be intimate with, but it just isn't that easy to have the casual relationship for sex. Emotions do get confused and you never want to hurt your trusted friend or mislead them.

 This is the easy part of breaking up....a detail.  If you are enjoying finally feeling free do it right away.  If you are feeling dumped and depressed..... do it right away before he/she beats you to it.  But always take the high road and don't broadcast hurtful things.... no whining, criticisms, or digs.  Be kind.

 As always, I believe you need to have an honest converstion with your soon to be ex before putting anything on the internet.  And I mean anverbal conversation, not texting.  Make sure you are both clear that you are breaking up and not just thinking about it.  The term "taking a break" can mean many things to many people.  Are you taking a break to think about breaking up or are you breaking up.  Make an agreed time when both of you will change your status as single.  No one wants to see that on the internet first before the conversation.  Be nice!

 You don't need to tell your parents, you don't need to have sex if you are not ready, but it sounds like you do need to be in a stable relationship to begin to think about taking the responsibility involved in deciding to have sex.  I think it would be easier to talk to your parents about birth control if you were sure that being responsible and sexually active was right for you.  Condoms, condoms, condoms the first rule of responsible sex.  Plannned parenthood is a great resource for birth control and sexual issues. 

  If you are a sophomore in college, you don't need your parents permission to go to the clinic and get birth control.  You might need to get money to pay for your prescription so that might be the reason to tell you parents.  In the mean time, if you do have sex, make sure to use a condom. Keep using condoms even after you go on birth control.  As far as your parents, that depends on your relationship with them.  If you decide to tell them, pick the parent that you have the best relationship with and tell them first.  You might be surprised! After all, your parents had to have sex, to have you.

You need to start birth control, for your own "Peace Of Mind".  If you and your boyfriend get caught up one night, and you do not have protection, you will spend the rest of the month worrying and perhaps the rest of your life wishing you'd thought ahead.  As a sophomore in college, you should be able to get birth control without your parent's permission.  Go to the campus clinic or your OBGYN and talk about it.  If you really want to talk to your parents first, and it sounds like you might,  find the right time and place, soon, and just say, "Mom,(or Dad), I'm thinking of starting birth control". Yes, they will have questions, probably a lot, answer them honestly.  It won't sound weird, It will sound like a daughter asking her mom's (or dad's, that could be scarier) advice, and mom (or dad) should appreciate it.  If she (or he) freaks out re-assure her, you love her, you will be careful, and then do what you need to do to protect yourself. If you have sex before getting birth control, make sure you use a condom, it's a safe sex choice anyway, until you really know the guy.  Take Care.  

I respect your patience and your concern. Back in the day I waited for a long time and wasn't sure whether i was a prude or whether I was being smart. It helped that I didn't have a boy I was in love with.  I think when young people, or anyone for that matter, are in love, they want to please the other person and they don't think things through carefully. Please yourself and don't be afraid as it comes naturally, but do consider your feelings. Once you open yourself to the freedom hopefully you will find out that it can be  spiritual between lovers, yet also a lot of fun and pleasure. Be patient even still, because sometimes it takes a few times to really get the hang of it.

It is really not your parents business and you are an adult and in college so please feel the freedom and the responsibility that you have as an adult. Planned Parenthood is a great access to birth control alternatives. If your college has it's own health services they are wonderful and have a lot of experience helping people  who find themselves where you are. Planned Parenthood helped with the cost when I was young. Sliding rates are available in some cases and you'll find that they are more concerned with reproductive rights and safety that in making money for their services. Let's support the right to choose!

The pill is easy to start with until you get to know your body better and get to learn about what is most convenient for you and your partner. They will give you thoughtful advice. I was lucky to have found some very sweet men for these first experiences. Be open and don't be afraid to talk to your friends about it too.

When you say that you are not sexually active, there are many ways to be sexual with out ending in intercourse. I hope you have felt the freedom to explore this incredibly sensual path.

Hoping you will find your own right answer for this.

We cover some birth control topics in our Wellness section so please look at our links and our different ways of covering this topic.

This is a terrible position to be in. How does the saying go, don't shoot the messenger? If you are the type of person who would like to be told than probably your friend would be more open to listening to you since you come from a sincere position. You must be ready to support your friend and not be judgmental. There is no easy answer to this, each situation is unique and should be thought out.

This is a can of worms, my first reaction is yes, however from experience your friend might not believe you and resent you after you tell her. My suggestion would be to make sure your information is concrete, then approach the boyfriend and see what his reaction is. If he's remorseful than perhaps it was a one time thing or maybe they have an open relationship. If it happens again and you have absolute proof than you should tell your friend. It sucks to be in this position. Three times is not a charm!

This is a difficult situation to be in. Be kind, don't jump the gun. Make sure you have all the facts before you say anything. A really good friend will understand if you approach the conversation from a position of true concern and compassion. Does your friend trust you to truly have their best interests at heart? If the situation were reversed would you want this friend to tell you? I would only tell a really good friend, and I would only hear it and believe it from a really good friend.

I wish I could tell them and I have said that I would tell them, but it is very difficult. You have to be ready for that friend to be very angry with you and even blame you for their hurt at the information and act like you are responsible.

Wow! This would be a difficult conversation. The thing is if her boyfriend is willing to disregard your girlfriend's feelings and cheat on her (your friend), it is likely he won't care too much what you think. Except, of course, you could expose him. We know he is a liar so I wouldn't take this approach unless you have a good relationship with your girlfriend. You can be sure he will alienate you in the future and this may put an inexplicable wedge between you and your friend.

I would,but it also depends on the guy (girl) doing the cheating. If this is a good friend, you need to do what you would want someone else to do for you. I would say something to the the boyfriend because maybe you have bad information or perhaps he is being misunderstood (not likely but you could give them the benefit of the doubt). If, in fact, he (or she) is cheating then he knows he's been found out and hopefully will stop or tell your friend.

Make sure you know the facts before you have this conversation. Did you see him being affectionate with someone else? Could it have been a sister/brother, a cousin or an old friend? Did you hear a rumor? Ask the presumed cheater before getting in their face. If you do discover that your friend is being cheated on, it may be better to tell that friend yourself, kindly, gently, they may not believe you at first, but if this is a really good friend and there is trust between you, they will recognize your true concern. If you were being betrayed, what would you want your friend to do for you?

I like this approach better than telling your friend. Talk to cheater. I am not going to be liking him, if this is the case, and would rather confront the cheating party than hurt my friend.  Hopefully they will say that it isn't so, and even if it is they will be thankful at the opportunity to get it off their chest and will also give them the prompt to look at what they want, if this is indeed their future with your friend, or if they have this new interest that they want to move on to. Then they should step up and not be disloyal. Often when some one strays it is because there isn't interest anymore. Time to move on, but please, move on after you have written kindly the last sentence in the last chapter of your relationship with my friend .

• This is a tough question and may not have one answer.  We are always changing and it may be hard to just pick one thing.  There are tests you can take that may help assess what you would be well suited for like this one on line The Free Career Test.http://www.free-career-test.com/default.asp?lp=st01_fct&tag=110617161321710&hitlogid=71052811&cobrand=CLEAR&utm_source=PCT&utm_medium=SEMK&utm_campaign=Google-Search-TFCT-9272.  Sometimes money is a huge consideration if you need to support yourself and of course there is family and location etc.  I advice my children to do what they love best and the money will come.  Good luck.

I've been asking myself that question for years! The beauty of life, is the journey.  I know it's confusing when you feel like you don't have a direction but you might be surprised that you do. First, make a list for all the things that you like to do or think you might like.  It could be anything, snowboarding, gardening, cooking, helping children, writing, etc.  Take a job or volunteer in some of those things. You'll never know until you try.  If you're in school, take classes in those topics.  Maybe something you thought you wouldn't like will be the one.  And that is another thing, it doesn't have to be one thing and doesn't have to be forever.  You can change your mind. Wherever your search takes you, take it all in and enjoy.

The good news is, you are not alone.  While some people know exactly what they want to do, most of us, myself included, are still looking.  Take some courses in anything you think might interest you, photography, history, art, mechanics.  Take a job or volunteer for something you know little about, gardening, child care, hospitality.  Work on a fishing boat or in a restaurant for a while. Take a job just to be able to afford to travel, or to try something new. Set a goal I'm going to see Paris, swim in the Mediterranean, take cooking lessons, whatever.  Just don't do nothing.  Believe me, anyone who writes I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE in big capital letters is already on the road to finding them-self.  Many of the most interesting people are those who are still searching. Life is full of surprises and you may just find that what you enjoy most is the search. " Life is a journey, not a destination." (Emerson)  Good Luck, and enjoy the journey.

Park your car far away, take the steps and clean the house.

Yoga or exercise tapes, walking, small weight exercises-constantly keep moving and don't sit down! I should take my own advice sometimes!

When I was young it was easy, I didn't have a car and walked everywhere, to work, to school, everywhere. Dance, put the music on when you clean and dance your way through or go dancing instead of to a movie. Take the stairs, lift, your groceries, the laundry, a child. Stretch, do it in the shower, or sitting at your desk, or watching TV. Sally is right, just keep moving. Make dates to walk, or play golf or tennis instead of lunch. You may be getting more exercise than you think, a gym is a luxury, but not a necessity.

If you are at college, or working and live near school or work, walk everywhere you can. If not, then use your free time to do athletic things with your friends: throw a frizbee in the park during a study break or lunch break. Roller skate or roller blade, skateboard( find the park near you), take a half hour walk every morning or every evening. I was in a hotel once and it was winter and snowy outside so I couldn't go for my morning walk and I sometimes like to avoid public gyms, so I walked up and down the stairwell in the hotel. It was an awesome work out.  Sex is a great work out, so if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner be sure you are enjoying these benefits.  It is great for you!

 I think it is okay sometimes to talk on a personal level to a teacher.  I would keep the subjects to what would be considered appropiate subjects that a teacher or mentor might help you with.  For instance, if you feel you are lacking confidence in your personal goals a teacher may have insight for you, or  If you are struggling with the rules in school or another teacher, if you are passionate about a subject and need guidance. Be careful about talking about things unrelated to school.  If you need help with personal issues a teacher may be able to point you to other resources.  If you are going through something personal that is effecting your school work a teacher may be sympathetic or not. Be respectful og the parent teacher relationship.

I think a teacher is best used for their knowledge of education and not personal advise. If you choose to reveal personal information to your teacher it could put both of you in an awkward position.

If you need to talk to someone it is probably best to go to a counselor or to a good friend.

At the college level, we tend to think we are all adults.  There can still be the inappropriate teacher chasing the younger girl or boy, predators in professorial clothing. I think as people we should be able to talk honestly like adults with all adults... just maybe not your parents? Use your common sense... there could be some great friendships to be made with these interesting intelligent people.

Try using your sense of humor to say it in a nice way. You will have to speak up.

You need to speak to your roommates about putting some money into the food budget. Even if it's a few dollars a week. Set up a jar in the kitchen and everyone can throw in their change. You'd be surprised how quickly the money will add up. They also might want to share in the cooking if they have contributed in any way.

 If you are making food with no intention of sharing it, package the left-overs, put your name on the package and ask your roommates not to eat it. If they don't respect your wishes ask them to replace the food or give you money to buy lunch. They'll get the idea. The best thing to do when sharing a house is to decide whether each roommate will buy their own food or if you will share expenses and cooking in advance.

This is a controversial area and one that can endanger your professor's job. The problem is he/she can be accused of favoritism, preference in grading, class participation preferences, and expectations in performance may be different because you are a friend.

How do you mean like? If you're talking about a non sexual like than you might try getting to know them after you have finished their class with you. If you're still in the class it might make it awkward if you are socializing. Don't get involved with a current professor sexually.

Ditto Sal. In a small class setting, you may find that you do develop friendships with your teachers. These friendships are usually based on a shared interest in the subject. If you want to explore that friendship with a professor, wait until you are done taking courses with him/her. Your professor may lose their job if they get sexually involved with a young student.

Professors are people too. They can be great teachers as friends also and if they are in your field of study you may find plenty of social situations to share their company. Being in a small ceramics program in college, one of my good friends was my professor. We traveled as a group on field trips and spent hours firing kilns, going to museums, talking art and politics. You can find new friends everywhere. It is hands off though if you are a student in their class interested in them romantically or sexually. Keep it easy and you can come back later. A professor who is ready to jump into a relationship with a student is dangerous.  It's the same the other way.If you are looking for an inappropriate relationship with a professor, then goto counseling.  Do enjoy these friendships with intelligent people you admire though.

 You asked for an honest answer and so I will give you one.  First, I am concerned with the question.....how would you react/feel if your 21 year old son who got his 19 year old girlfriend  pregnant wanted to marry her?  It seems to me the question should read from you the 19 year old....how would you feel about your 19 year old daughter having a baby and considering marriage to her 21 year old boyfriend?  Make no mistake the main characters here are you and the baby.  The marriage is an important consideration with little to do with how a mother might feel about her young son's decision to marry.  Like it or not he is going to be a father and responsibility has come his way...and it sounds like he wants to do the best thing for you and the baby, and that I think this is a good thing.  It is apparent that you are questioning if marriage is the best solution at this time. I would say you are lucky to be born in a time when women can make more choices when it comes to unplanned pregnancy.  There is less social stigma for choosing to be a single parent.  Marriage is a big step and should be a decision about love and a commitment for forever.  You stated you are concerned about being left to raise the baby alone because of his demanding job and so I wonder if being a new wife to a young man who is unavaileable most of the time is in your best interest.  This baby will change your life so I suggest you not add marriage to the story until you feel sure it ts the right thing for both of you. There is no rush to get married.  What's important is your health and well being and future goals to support yourself and your baby.  Find the support you need, keep asking questions, and things will work out.  

 You have made a mature choice that will affect you for the rest of your life.  Before you get married, I would see if you boyfriend is as mature as you think he is. Do you have a safe place to live?  Are you living together yet and sharing expenses.  Are you working? Do you have health insurance for you and the baby. Have you worked out finances beyond the first year? Are you factoring the next 24 years supporting yourself and baby? What about schooling, doctors visits, housing, child care and ballet lessons? 

 Raising a child is not an easy task and you need to have a lot of support.  You say your parents are not in the picture?  Are they aware that you are pregnant? If not, you might consider telling them. Are they good people and you are just afraid to tell them.? If it's really not a possibility then check with the community health centers or churches that have support groups.   Please follow Michele's guidance about pre-natal care and bringing your baby home.

I can honestly say that I wouldn't be thrilled about one of my children getting married and having a baby in the teenage years. Having said that, it doesn't mean I wouldn't be a supportive parent to my child. Since you're against abortion and making this big step about having a baby, don't make the next step about getting married just yet. At this point, what's the rush? Try out how you get along raising this child together and after some time, when you're still in love, then get married. Take care of yourself. 

 It sounds like you and your boyfriend have already made some very tough decisions together, and that bodes well for the future.  You also say you want to keep your baby.  A child who is wanted is already starting out well.  Your boyfriend has a job that may keep him away from home more often then either one of you would like, but he does have a job and will be able to help you financially, another plus.  You ask how I would feel if my son got his girlfriend pregnant and wanted to get married.  My first reaction might be worry, but you are young adults, this is your decision. I think I would also be proud of both of you for taking responsibility for your actions. Then I would probably give you so much advice that you would wish I'd just shut up and go away.

Get all the help and support you can, make sure you have good pre-natal care, take your vitamins, eat right, don't take drugs or drink alcohol, give your child a head start in life. Get one of those pregnancy books that tells you what to expect when you are pregnant and how to take care of yourself and the baby.  There are hundreds of them and they can be purchased used. Try Amazon.  

Start thinking ahead about lamaze classes, breast-feeding vs. bottle-feeding, natural childbirth, epidurals, mid-wife vs. ob-gyn, and how and where you will live, cloth diapers or disposables. Will you work? What about childcare?  Can you afford it?  Do you want to finish school?  

I know, it sounds overwhelming, but people have been doing it forever.  The better prepared you are, the easier it will be.

Raising a child is hard work, but you don't seem to be romanticizing it or expecting it to be easy. My children have brought me more joy then I could have imagined, I didn't know you could love anyone this much.  Enjoy your pregnancy and your baby when it comes. Congratulations, and best of luck.

 The most important thing now is to find a way to clear up this mess and make sure you do graduate.  Make a plan that makes it happen for you.  If you do this you will show your friends and relatives that you are in control of your life and that you will make them proud of you.  They will understand and admire you for working out this difficult situation.

The first thing you need to do is to go to the guidance counselor and find out for sure whether or not you are graduating. If you are, then no problem. If you're short a few credits, find out if they will allow you to walk in graduation and make up the credits over the summer. This could happen if it's a private school. If you do not have the credits to graduate then get a complete list of things you need to do to complete your high school. It will make you feel better if you have a clear picture of what you need to do and have a game plan on how to do it. Have you told your parents? Have them handle the questions from the aunts and uncles. If you feel awkward about them, write them a note later.  Everyone makes mistakes in life, they should understand.

I'm sorry this happened to you. As Sally said, there is a possibility that the school will let you walk with your class if you agree to finish course work over the summer. As embarrassing as it may be to admit that you are not graduating on time, the real problem here is getting the credits you need to graduate. See your guidance counselor, talk to your teachers, and talk to your parents if you can. If your family is caring enough to want graduation pictures, they probably care enough to forgive you for not being on the 4 year plan, don't lie to them, but do get that diploma, or GED, not for your family, for yourself.

Wow this is difficult. So close and things fall apart. It is hard to answer without all the information, but I guess the question is really what do you tell people. If you made some mistakes of judgment and got into trouble, sometimes that is hard to tell your grandmother, but for most relatives, we have all made mistakes in our lives that we may understand that you can also make such mistakes. Some mistakes are harder to live with than others. If it is that you have failed to get the credits you need, then see if you can walk with the class and finish the credits in summer school. If that is important to you to walk.... If the ceremony isn't important to you, then explain that to your relatives. They may be relieved that they don't have to travel to your graduation and sit while 1029 students walk up to receive there diploma. Good Luck.

Completely, it can be very sexy and men welcome the initiative.

Yes, yes, yes. We're not in the dark ages-go for it!

Of course it is, Ask him to a movie or a concert or to play a game of tennis, chess, scrabble. If you are old enough, buy the guy a drink. If you are interested, let him know.

Yes, definitely! I wish I could. If you are a bit shy about making it a real date, then perhaps a less obvious activity, something you would do with a friend male or female, go for a hike, play tennis, canoe, a trip to a museum or art gallery and coffee or wine after. I should try this!

No, at 18 you can legally get a piercing. Because a piercing can in time leave a permanent hole think carefully about what could be a permanent impact on your body.

No, but try to make a good decision before you do it and tell your parents. No one really likes surprises and they probably will be okay with it (depending on what you're piercing).

No, You might want to mention it to them and see if they have any objections. If you're lucky, they might buy you an ornament. I just need to add that tongue piercings are really prone to infection and can be painful. Make sure you follow-up with after care.

It is legal to pierce whatever you want to at 18. Don't go crazy. Be thoughtful and just start slow.  You probably already have an ear or two pierced. If you want the big ear holes do your research. Ask some one you see and whose ornaments you admire and see if they have regretted any of their piercings. Have some of them been inconvenient, even gotten in the way of a job promotion because of criticism from a boss or client or customer in a work place. People who have piercings I have found to be very forthcoming in conversation about them. Janet Jackson even talked to Oprah about the recurring pleasure derived of having her nipples pierced. Compliments to someone whose piercings you admire are usually well received. Open up the conversation. Remember though, that your mother probably won't enjoy your new piercings. We moms still feel like that beautiful body we gave you is still a part of our own. Sorry, but we still want to protect you from the infections you may get from having a piercing jarred from time to time. Also I think that moms don't want you to be judged by others less open minded because of your appearance.

No, but parents have wisdom. The problem with tattoos is they never go away. Life has a habit of changing and skin has a habit of sagging. So think carefully before getting a tattoo.

You don't need permission but my advice is to not get a tattoo. If you want to have something temporary just a henna one.

No, no permission necessary, but if you have a good relationship with your parents, let them know what you're thinking about. They may have some advice and will appreciate just having been asked for input.

When you are 18 you can do it all except drink. Think about the tattoo. Get something that your mom might like. My son has some incredible tattoos, but I wish they were flowers and not skulls! They are very cool though, and I respect his right to express himself with this body art.

The golden rule applies here. You must give honesty if you expect honesty in your relationship. Be careful not to discuss other relationships with your special someone. You may need to discuss the boundaries of the relationship not your other dates.

It's always better to be honest but you might be in a situation that doesn't lend itself to that. For instance if you're dating several people and so is your friend, it might cause undo stress if you share these things. But as things are getting more intimate and personal, you should have the discussion to make sure you're both on the same page. Maybe your friend is not into an open relationship and you'll have to reevaluate your relationship.

Yes and no, you don't need to share all your other dates with the one you're with if you are dating casually, but if there is someone who is special, who may believe they are exclusive, you need to let them know you see other people. In addition, if you are seriously involved, and someone you are interested in getting to know better asks you out, tell them you are involved, but would like to take the time to know them. Honesty and respect are always best and easier in the end.

Yes and no, it depends on the relationship you are in. If you haven't committed to each other in either relationship, then you can just omit the information, yet when asked, obviously don't lie. It also depends on what your friendship or relationship looks like with the one you are already seeing. If they have issues around seeing one person at a time then respect that. If you are being intimate then you have a responsibility to know the sexual health of your partners and not spread any unwanted diseases. Not that any disease is wanted.

Often finances are a reason to live together and that is not the best reason. It also makes breaking up that much harder as you have to move or he/she does. If you are constantly together anyway than it may be the right option for you.

I would advise against it if you could live independently of each other. I think it's always a good idea to meet as many people as you can and sometimes that's hard when you are constantly with one person. Life goes very quickly and the time for living together will come soon enough, be independent!

I am also big on independence. I think it is important to live on your own for a while and become your own person. Get to know yourself. Make a life for yourself. Then, open yourself up, and share that life. Everyone is different, some people know themselves well at an early age. It may be right for you to live with your boyfriend, but find out by living alone first if that's possible.

Yes, this is a fair proposal. They should be happy to chip in especially because you are doing the driving.

First of all, I would hope that your friends would at least offer. If they haven't, put a little change box on your dashboard with a sign that says gas money and your friends will probably start throwing some change in it.

Yes, gas is expensive and car pooling is great for the environment and for your pocketbook. If your friends don't offer,  feel free to ask nicely. "Hey, guys, I don't mind driving, but can you help with gas?". Or suggest that you take turns driving if your friends also have cars. Don't be taken advantage of just because you have a generous nature.

Yes, the trick is to make it sexy.

Have them with you if you're sexually active, don't rely on the other person to protect you. You might want to visit plannedparenthood.org.

Absolutely,  and if he gives you a hard time (no pun intended), you might want to re-think your relationship. Never have unprotected sex with anyone unless you have been with them a long time and know their sexual history, and until you are ready to raise a child, practice some kind of birth control.

Yes, if that is her choice of birth control she should carry them and not rely on the man, especially if she is planning on, hoping for and looking forward to having sex.

 Style is important in dating and so is romance.  If you can send a text to remember could be fun.  First impressions are important.  Texting to ask someone on a date may be viewed as cowardly and that is not good.  Get creative.

 If this is the first date, no. Pick up the phone because there probably be a few details to hammer out. Once you get to know the person then I think its okay to ask them out for something casual. If you have something special like theater tickets or a whole day activity, pick up the phone.

 I'm of the school that if you have something important to say, say it in person.  If you had the courage to date this person that have the courage to look them in the eye.  It's never an easy thing to do.  Believe me, I could tell lots of stories on bad break ups but even if the worst ones are better with face to face goodbyes. The only excuse would be a realtionship with abuse.  If that is the case, please call an abuse hot line for help.

 The good thing about fantasies are just that..they are fantasies.  They are personal and do not need to be disclosed to anyone.  Sexual fantasies are normal and part of sexual development. This however doesn't mean you may not need to learn from them yourself.  For example if you are fantasizing about same sex sex you may need to confront with an open heart that you may be gay.  If you are fantasizing about a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend you may need to spend your time away from this person to be sure you do not act inappropiatly with them.

 Masturbating is a normal progression in sexual development and exploration. Just don't get carried away with it.  It's much better to be in love/like with someone special and explore your sexuality for real and not in fantasy.

 No, it's normal, everyone does it.   Masturbation is something you do alone and for yourself. Whatever happens there stays there.  Don't worry about fantasizing, this is about you, and it's healthy unless you are spending hours a day at it.  

No it isn't. I could see that it could become a problem if you start using a good friend or a friend's girlfriend or boyfriend in your fantasy. If it is a crush you have it can be fun or problematic when that passion is not returned and it can be frustrating. Beware that anything can become an addiction if it distracts you from the responsibilities of daily life.

Enjoy!

 This is an irresponsible thing to do.  Phones are just not private.  

If your message is meant to be private then don't send it over the internet or via text message.  Everything is store somewhere in cyberspace. Sometimes the suggestion of sex and playful wording can make sex all the more enjoyable.  I remember the days being on my landline phone with lots of suggestive talk while Gary was out to sea.  When we finally would see each other, it was great. Sometimes less is more.

 You are lucky to have a Mom in Mom mode.  Mom mode differs than anything else because it is centered on mentoring you.  Listen to her Mom type concerns carefully.  Let us know more how it goes.

 It's so nice that you have a mom that is your friend but never forget she is your mom first and friend second.   Mothers want the best for their children.  Are you graduating first, then traveling? Perhaps your mother is concerned over the job climate? Will you be able to get a job when you get back. Or maybe she is worried about you traveling alone? Parents work very hard to put their children on the right path and might have paid a lot of $ to put them through school.  I'm sure if you talk to your mother in an adult way and give her a time frame for when you are traveling and when you plan to come back and get a job, it might give her some comfort. 

Ashley, it looks like we are missing some info here. Did your mom get upset about the job? Does she not want you to travel or move? It sounds to me that you are doing exactly what we all hope our kids will do. Our job is to give you wings. Your job is to fly. Your mom should be very proud and she probably will be once she gets used to the idea of you being an adult. This is a tough transition for we moms. Keep talking to her about your plans and dreams. Answer her questions patiently, and reassure her that you're always her daughter. It will get easier. Suggest a trip you might take together, be understanding, but don't let go of your dreams.

 Well, I remember being on the fence with this one. My daughter's boyfriend (she is now engaged to him) came to live with us temporarily, and I did not allow them to sleep together.  I also had younger sons to think about, and I'm sure like you, I was worried about the the example being presented. But as time went on I realized that of course they were sneaking, but more importantly, I could also see they were in love.  I also got to know and love her boyfriend, my now future son-in-law. So what happened is I caved.  I just let it happen.  To my surprise it didn't bother me.  What would bother me is bad behavior like abusing drugs and alcohol and certainly wreckless sex.  But because they were in love, and let's face it having sex no mattter what I thought, I realized this is just a natural part of life.  I think we can get carried away as parents with how we want our children to behave.  Is it fair to pass judgement on a young couple sleeping together who are engaged?  I think I would be more worried if they didn't want to sleep together.  In the end I think my daughter appreciated that I treated her like the woman that she is..able to make decisions about herself that are good for her.  She picked a great guy and their relatonship is about respect.  If you approve of your future son-in-law and your daughter feels that she is ready to reveal to you that she sleeps with him, then I would respect their honesty. It's only love and that is all. 

 Well you certainly have you're hands full being both Dad and Mom to your daughters.  I'm sure you have already instilled tradional values into your daughter already since she is ready to take the plunge into marriage at a young age. She is adult enough to make this decision then I think she is adult enough to decide if she is sleeping with her finance. Tell her you feel a little uncomfortable about it but ask her what she wants to do.  If she says she'd like to be in the same room, then so be it.  It's hard for parents to realize their little girls are women and especially hard for single Dads. But honesty and acceptance of changing lives will make for a strong relationship in the future.  Good job, Dad!

What a good dad, considering your daughter's feelings and recognizng that she may not think the way you do.  Talk to her, you can tell her you are not completely comfortable with her sleeping with her fiance in your home.  She may not be comfortable with it either.  The young woman my son was living with was not comfortable sharing a room with him in our home for a while, and we expected them to sleep together!   We quickly made up a bed.  

If you are really uncomfortable with this, you must let her know.  It's all about respect.  If you can not accept them sharing a room before they are married, say so.  If you can accept It let her make the decision.  She is an adult, she can respect your wishes if need be, she can also make her own decisions, and you can respect them.

PS Congrats to your daughter on her engagement. 

Let him know you will expose him and try to never be alone with a person like this. A witness could be a good thing if you felt you needed to file charges of sexual harassment. Maybe mention it to another woman comrade. If she has experienced the same thing there is power in numbers.

Make sure you document the incident. If it happens more than once-report it to human resources. There are proper procedures that should be followed. This is a violation of the title VII Civil Rights act and file the harassment charge with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. If you do not have a HR department, you can file yourself. If it gets very uncomfortable, you might want to look for a new job.

Agreed, This should not be tolerated. Is there someone above him/her that you can go to? If not tell him/her you intend to file a complaint, document it, report it, and let others know it is happening. If you can't leave this job now, for financial reasons, start looking for a new job. And never let this person, (let's not assume it's a guy, necessarily), get you in a position alone, where it's their word against yours. The ERA website www.equalrights.org can give you specifics on how to file a sexual harassment charge

 Maybe try being honest.  Ask her when she needs it and say you want to wear it too in the next couple of days so you need it back perfect.  If she screws up she will get it that she is being disrespectful and you have a right not to lend her anything else.

Ask for everything back and never lend then your clothes again.

 Yes, I believe your friend needs to know this.  Try to be non-judgemental but let them know you are worried about out of control behavior leading to trouble. People sometimes deny anything is wrong and you must accept this.  See if you can talk to this friend about what is happening in their life that they feel a need to get black out drunk.   Only talk to them about this when they are sober.

If this is a close friend, then yes, you should talk to them. They are obviously unaware how they are acting since they're drunk. Most younger people really don't want to admit that they have a problem handling alcohol so be prepared for denial. Hopefully, they'll take your advice and drink less or not at all. There usually has to be a very dramatic incident in someone's life in order for them to stop drinking so don't be discouraged if they don't take your advice. It's up to the person to change their behavior. Just in case-check out AA at aa.org

I still have this problem with some adult friends. I see them drink too much and then I just can't have a conversation with them anymore. The obnoxious behavior you may have laughed at a few times isn't very funny anymore and gets in the way of your good time. I still don't know how to confront a friend about this. Please share any suggestions. I want to know. It would make me a better friend.

Tough one.I think this is a case by case answer. I think a good rule may be don't lend money to anyone if you really need it back. It's an idea to ask the parents but I would say only if they can afford it because really it is between you and your friend and your friend should ask his/her parents before you do.

Talk to your friend first and tell them you are desperate for your money. Maybe you didn't make it clear that you needed it back. There is a difference between giving and lending. Make sure you make a schedule for repayment when you lend. I wouldn't go to the parents. They probably don't realize you lent money in the first place. In the long run, try not to get into this habit. Money and friends don't mix well.

Talk to your friend first. If you go to his/her parents you might not have that friend anymore. "Neither a borrower nor a lender be, loan oft losses self and friend" paraphrased Shakespeare here. It's hard to pressure a friend for money owed, but if you really need the money, and your friend is unable to pay it, ask him/her to go to their parents or you will have to.

 First off..friends don't steal from friends.  I would start the conversation here.  Talk to you friend about his out of control behavior and let them know that if they want your friendship they must respect the boundaries.  Sounds like this friend really needs help and is desperate.  He may be in denial about needing help in which case there is not much you can do.  Let him know you are there for him but you cannot allow him to steal from you.

Sounds like you have a few problems with your friend. Beside smoking too much, he/she is also stealing from you. Tell him/her that he cannot go into your room without you knowing or put a lock on your door. Protect your belongings. Talk to your friend if you're concerned about their smoking. Maybe they are depressed from something else. If that's the case, smoking weed will only make the person more depressed and unmotivated. He/She has too much time on his hands if not working or going to school. I'd encourage a job or school and suggest something they use to like to do other than smoking.

Tell your boyfriend that you don't appreciate it and see that he respects your feelings. You need to ask yourself if you have trust in your relationship.

Tell them to knock if off and find their own love interest.

Is this person really your friend? Do you trust her? Tell her she is making you uncomfortable, perhaps this is just her way of being friendly. If it's your boyfriend you don't trust, look at your relationship. You may just want to playfully say, "Oh no you don't, He's already taken". That way everyone knows where they stand.

It is so hard to criticize, isn't it? Some people are just so sexual and flirty. It is the way some people communicate. Best to let them know that they are coming off that way and that it is uncomfortable for you. It is also a good idea to talk to your boyfriend and suggest that he be watchful. Some times it starts out as innocent play between friends, but then gets carried too far if it isn't reigned in.

Well, it sounds like evenings is not a good time to talk to your mom on any subject, especially her drinking. You might try talking to her when she is sober. Sometimes a public place is easier because the person cannot leave or yell. In any case, alcoholism is a very complex and tough habit to conquer but your mother may find strength knowing that her behavior is effecting her child. She probably needs to go to AA but she must do this on her own. You are not responsible for her actions. There is an organization call, Alanon that is for family members of alcoholics and they are very respected.  There are groups everywhere.

Sounds like your mom is heading down the path of alcoholism. It's very disruptive for family life. You should express your concerns to her when she is sober. Never try to get into a discussion about alcohol abuse when someone is drinking, it will only frustrate you and you really can't predict how someone might act. She needs to know that you are aware of her drinking habits. It's not your job to fix her. She needs to go to aa.org (alcohol) or na.org (narcotics) to find support. You also might want to go to the alanon.org website for information on families dealing with alcohol abuse.

Alcoholism isn't pretty. It separates a lot of us. It is sad to see someone you love lost in the bottle. Marijuana addiction is difficult also. Occasional recreational use of alcohol and marijuana is very different from the daily habitual abuse. Perhaps if she knows how worried you are it will bring her some recognition of her actions. Often we do not see how our actions affect those around us. Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous may have some suggestions of what conversation you could create to get through to her.

Here are a couple of links that discuss your situation.  There are pros and cons to reporting an accident.  The first thing is to be grateful that this accident you describe doesn't involve anybody getting hurt.  Whatever you decide, either you or the insurance company are responsible for the damages. You can pay out of pocket or file a claim. These links should help you make the right choice as each case has it's own implications.   thttp://www.autoinsurancerates.com/when-to-report-an-accident.html

http://www.insurancehotline.com/reporting-accidents/

 There are a few other questions that I have.  I. how many other cars were in the accident? 2. Do you parents have insurance on the car 3. Do you have a drivers license? 4. Was there damage done to the other cars?I really need more information to give a proper anser.  Honestly is the best policy.  If there was damage done, the insurance company won't pay unless there is a a police report.  If you don't have a license, this will also be probabimatic.  When in doubt, also go for honesty. Can you image waking up in the morning and your car was side swiped? Too many people, take the easy way in life and lie.  

Like anything else, try not to be defensive and acknowledge their points. If you present them with a plan that makes sense, it may make sense to them. But maybe you need to open your mind to college and listen to your parents.

It's always better to have a plan when you speaking with your parents about your future. You should have a good reason for not going to college and probably a job. Maybe you'd like to pursue a goal that you didn't achieve in high school or travel abroad on a community service trip, whatever it is, there should be a plan.

Give attitude! Smokers get attitude everywhere they go. Hopefully they are respectful.

They need to go outside to smoke. Put a big bucket with sand in it on the porch for their butts. Most landlords don't want smoking in their residents because it's hard to get the smell out of the walls and carpet. There is also something called second hand smoke that causes lung cancer. You need to have that conversation.

The library is a wonderful thing so all can live and let live. Just give it up and go to the library. Less angst and your work will be done that much quicker

It's your home too, there has to be a compromise,maybe they can study easier with music then you can or maybe they're just inconsiderate. Whatever the case, you need to work it out if your living with this person.

 This is very unfair to you..not to mention the dog.  I would text the friend next time and say the dog seems to really need to get walked.  This will force him to either get home or ask you to do him a favor.  Respond by telling him you are available this time but let him know it is inconvenient and a favor.  Maybe suggest he deduct money from the rent for each walk if you like that idea...and make a schedule.  If he doesn't get the message I would look for a different living arrangement that suits you.

You need to talk to your room mate and make a schedule with them about the dog. It's terribly unfair to the dog to be locked up all day and unfair to everyone living in the house if the dog has an accident. If your roommate is a good pet owner and just needs a little help, then help. It's good exercise and good for your health to take care of a pet.

Let's face it, it's a good friend who helps you move. If you are lucky enough to have wonderful friends to help you then make sure you treat them to all drinks and food to show your appreciation. Do not ask your friends for help unless you would be willing to help them when they move. Try to make it fun, some music and laughter.

If you ask, you must be ready to help out when they ask you. The more friends, the quicker it goes. Make sure to get them a thank you gift, like a case of beer or bouquet of flowers.

The first date is a funny thing because sometimes you may have a history together and sometimes at different times of life or in different connections you may be looking for different outcomes. Passion is hard to read.

Lean towards knowing it is right if you can.

No! You can wait until at least the second date. Gary says that if you have sex on the first date, the date might think you're a slut.

It's risky, my brother once commented that I married a one-night- stand.  True, I picked my husband up in a bar and have spent the rest of my life with him.  That having been said, I was lucky. There are some real crazies out there.  "Looking for Mr. Goodbar" ring any bells?  Don't have sex with someone you don't know well, if you met in a bar or on-line, wait, spend some time together.  If, on the other hand, this is someone you have known for a while, an old friend, someone you go to school with, then maybe this first date is what you've both been waiting for, an affirmation that you feel the same way about each other.

This is a tricky thing. Perhaps, if you know enough about the person and you already have a trust going on and knowledge of each other such as dating a friend or classmate or co-worker, some one you are already acquainted with, it can be a bit dicey when you do not have any previous knowledge. You might want to wait. People who you think are very nice can later show some craziness.

Why not wait? You will feel more confident and be more in control of your feelings. Is there trust between you? Use protection always.

Wait, don't give it up that easily. Have a few dates to get to know the person better, it might make your first time a bit more passionate.

If you know that person well, very well, then you may just be taking the friendship to the next level. If this is someone you have admired from afar, then wait, and take the time to know more about them. It is surprising how much we may not know about the people around us. I don't mean to sound paranoid, I just want you to play safe.

Like they teach you in martial arts, use restraint in almost all situations. You will be left with the most honor in the end. No one has the right to be rude to you and it would be best to avoid any person who interacts in this way. Try to speak to an adult who may know the rude adult for better insight into the situation.

Remember to always be a bigger person. Try to deflect what the person is saying but be firm and polite. The old saying," do on to others.." is so true. People usually nicer to  people that are come off confident. If they are being rude about your opinion and you believe in it, stand firm and cool. It's way more fun to win someone who is a jack*** with your charm then getting frustrated or insulted.

Sadly, many adults expect young people to respect them, but do not extend the same courtesy to the young people they meet. You know them. Your father's friend who loudly states "Why would you do that to your hair, you look ridiculous!" No matter how tempting, Do not say, "At least I have hair!" Answer respectfully, " OH! I'm so sorry you don't like it, I tried so hard to look nice tonight." He will realize he was out of line, and walk away feeling worse then if you had justified his belief that young people with different hairstyles are just plain rude. Keep your sense of humor with these people.

All I hear today is the common app which is more of a generic application that some schools will take. Financial aid frorms are also very important. Each school will have different requirements.

Every year, commonapp.org adds more and more colleges. This is a great online tool. You fill out an application, pick your colleges (and any supplements they might have) pay and hit the send button. Commonapp also has download areas for teachers reference and school documents. Check the individual colleges to see if they need anything else. If you need financial aide then you need to get the FAFSA forms. Your guidance counselor can help you find these forms but your parents will need to fill them out with you.

Fill out the FASA form with your parents as soon as possible after January 1st. It is the one form that virtually every college and university requires to award financial aid. Commonapp.org should be your next stop, many colleges now accept this on-line application. Once you have chosen the colleges you wish to apply to, send in your commonapp. Some colleges do require that you fill in their application forms, and almost every college has different requirements for personal essays, teacher recommendations and personal recommendations so check carefully. Be very careful to send the right info to the right school, I know, sounds stupid, but it happens.

This is a subject you will need specific help with as there are many grants and scholorships and financial aid formulas unique to everyone' own unique circumstance. Start with a financial aid counselor and dont give up.

There are many programs to get financial aid, FAFSA (federal agency), merit scholarships through the college your choice and several local organizations offer aid through communities. Also, try starting college in the Jr. or community colleges. The courses there are usually less expensive then large universities. Many traditional required courses are transferable and you could get a lot of credits done for cheaper.

These moments sometimes just happen,remove a hand, step out of an embrace, turn your head from a kiss and they will certainly get the message.

If you're not planning to date this person again, do not kiss them goodnight. What's the point, it's only leading them on. If this is someone you'd like to be with and visa versa and you're just not ready to have sex with them, tell them, they'll appreciate your honesty. And if they don't, maybe they're not worth it.

 101 Ways to Say No to Sex compiled by HS students, check the link below.

Or just take a deep breathe and say the words, "No, I don't want to have sex".  No need to feel like a prude.  If it's not someone you are interested in, no explanation is necessary.  If you are interested, just not ready or in-the-mood, you might want to explain your feelings, "I'd like to wait until I know you better",  I'd like to wait until I know myself better".  This could take time and you may have to repeat yourself, or even push them away and leave.  Yes, it will be uncomfortable, but not half as uncomfortable as having sex with someone you don't want to be with.  Stay true to yourself,  "If you love me you'll do it", can easily be turned around, "If you love me you'll wait until I'm ready.

It is Ok to be a prude and especially monthly.

There is a lot of success with raising your SAT scores by a variety of methods, some more expensive than others. Ask around your community to see if there are courses open. The book on past SATs is good to familiarize yourself with questions and answers. There are also schools (many very good schools too) that do not require SAT's. If you feel you can handle the academics at a school it is worth the effort to improve your SATs if it is a school that you feel is a good fit for you.

There's a college for everyone. Some schools have a test optional. Look up those schools on Fairtest.org to see the list. The important thing is not to panic-work on your senior grades and essays and get good recommendations.

You can take the SAT's as many times as you like, but your scores are not going to change significantly unless you had a reason for doing poorly the first time, an emotional issue, you weren't well, you fell asleep. There are many tutorial programs out there that teach you to take the test, Sylvan and Kaplan come to mind. In addition, you can take practice tests on-line at collegboard.com or their are books that are made for practice. Re-schedule the exam, but enroll in a course or take time to practice before you take the test again. You might also want to take the ACT, some schools accept it instead of the SAT. According to www.collegedegree.com The Act is better for people with book smarts who do a good job in school, the SAT better for people who pick up fast and test well. Either way, unless you are trying to get into Harvard, don't sweat the tests. Most college admissions people do recognize that some people just don't test well, and it's only one of many factors that are taken into consideration.

How many times can you take the SATs, 3 times?  It limits some of your choices, but look around. It may be the place you are best fitted for is out there somewhere and they look beyond testing. Don't let it discourage you into not going to college. Some amazing accomplished people could not master the SAT.

 Pack a picnic complete with candles and champagne.  Head to the park, spread the blanket and watch the stars.  For the active couple, a bike ride to the beach and watch the sunset together. Raining? No problem, set the table with your best, light the candles, pop the bottle and make one of our simple delicious dishes in the cookbook.

For years, my husband and I celebrated our anniversary with a house full of candles, music, a bottle of wine and a pasta dinner.  We danced, we talked about the year and our plans for the future.  Then we settled in to watch a romantic old movie.  It got tough after the kids came, but I remember those anniversaries so fondly. 

I have been single for decades now so what do I know? I would like the candles and a sweet picnic or a romantic dinner at home... A bouquet of flowers, a special bottle of wine. The economic challenge has made it difficult to go out and spend money, but if you can afford to, it would be a good time to do just that. A favorite restaurant... Champagne if you like it( like I do). One of my friends here in Santa Cruz used to rent a small Sailboat and take a picnic along on an afternoon sail. There was the captain along to steer it... Maybe one to many people but you two can cuddle while the captain takes care of the navigating.... They enjoyed it and do it every few years still.

I think hooking up means what it sounds like, in a relationship implies exclusivity, and dating is open to interpretation.

I wish I knew! I feel that I need to call my daughters on this one, I always get the terminology wrong. Please, someone send me the right answer.

Hooking up is an expression I use all the time to mean we're getting together. My daughter is constantly telling me I don't know what it means, so I assume it means having sex. Dating means going out, spending time together with the idea of a little romance. Being in a relationship means you are with someone special and aren't looking for anything else.

Hooking up can be used several ways. I got you hooked up for tickets to some great music, for example. But when talking about social definitions in a sexual way, hooking up just means making out and/or having sex. Even people dating can hook up. Hook up, shack up, we should start a list of different ways to say having sex.The term "Shag" I hadn't heard until the Austin Powers movies. I thought it was so cute. I think it comes from our good old 60's shag carpeting. Lots of rug burns from the shag carpet? Dating can be the beginning of a wonderful thing. If someone wants to get to know you better you should go on dates. But mostly today, don't you just get together and hang out with with friends? Dating is what you do on these single websites. You need to make a date just to meet the person. When it turns into a relationship, then it will be obvious. You aren't looking with interest at other possiblilties... at least publicly... and take your name off the dating searches too.

 We'd like to hear from our readers. Mark Zuckerberg changed is "status" this weekend!