Cindy's answer: Our ski house came with them and no one liked them. Down comforters are so wonderful because they are light and warm. Depending where you live electricity can get pretty pricey which makes the electric blanket idea a luxury idea rather than a cost effective way of lowering your heating bill. Another consideration is the electric current around your body for extended periods of time......it makes you wonder is it healthy? Sally's answer: I'm not a fan of electric blankets. It will cost less to have a down comforter and you won't have the electric bill cost. Joanna's answer: Personally, I don't like the idea of sleeping under a blanket of electrically heated wires. It was one of those miraculous inventions whose time may have come and gone. I love a good blanket and a comforter is so cozy but can sometimes make you too hot. Layers that can be adjusted for temperature change are good. Play with this at your mom or dad's house and see what they have that works for you . What was your favorite cozy bed of your youth. Maybe you never had one. Maybe it was at a friends house for a sleep over when you were young. Explore those memories. Find it now and get a good nights sleep. It is important for your well being.
But of course.....there are trade schools that are wonderful if you have made a decision as to a certain job you would like......for example....beautician, esthetician, plumber, electrician, mechanic, etc. Usually internship is associated with college students but if you offer your time to work for free or less...you may be able to learn a lot. For example a job in a restaurant helping with food prep could provide you with a hands on education in being a chef.
Sally's answer:
There are trades and other programs (including on line education), that don't involve a four year degree. You need to decide what interests you for further work and start googling and schools will come up.
Michele's answer:
There are so many options. See a counselor and talk about what's out there. Your school guidance counselor should be able to help. Career counseling is available, and you may even find free or low-cost counseling. Look on-line. There are tests you can take to determine aptitude and self-help books that will give you ideas. If you really don't know what you want to do, take a year off and work, save enough money to travel, now is the time to find what you love. 2 year colleges are also a good place to explore different options, Try a photography course, a cooking course, try animal training or landscaping. Like I said, so many options. You may find that what you love is trying new things, just don't do nothing for any long period of time.
Joanna's answer:
I loved college and education but my boys didn't enjoy school like I did. My older son went to a tech school for two years and finished his program in mechanics. There are so many things available, so many specific schools: auto mechanics, motorcycle mechanics, truck mechanics, welding, beauty schools, massage schools and also the art schools and specific craft programs, glass blowing, ceramics. Google whatever your interests are and you will be amazed at the opportunities to learn some obscure skill that you always thought you wanted to try. Try it! It may be the best thing you can do and the better fit for your life.
Yes, the long term results of the ipod generation on hearing are yet to be seen (or heard?), but it is predicted that those who listen to their ipod loud and often will pay a price in hearing loss later.
Sally's answer:
Everything effects your hearing and when you get to be our age you'll wish you lowered the sound on your ipod.
Michele's answer:
Yes, over long term it can.
Joanna's answer:
I have realized that I listen to music in my car too loud and sometimes my ears feel a little numb when I am done with a long drive. I worry about the ipod generation and what the long term hearing damage might be for all the blasting of ipods. Share your music and don't close the world away with the headphones.
Grampadan Says: This is not about "can." It WILL damage your hearing, as will getting up close & personal with
concert PA systems or jet engines.
My friend, a drummer in a band, could not hear the high-pitched sqeal of a (old-style tube-type) TV's high voltage supply. I could hear them, not only when repairing them, but when walking down the street in summer. Can still hear them, close up, at age 72. As an audio engineer, I protected my ears as the precision instruments they are.
Cindy's answer: There is this great national program called Jobs Corps where you may qualify up to three years free job training. The web site is www.jobcorps.gov
Cindy's answer: If you live in an area where electric is cheap than it might. With an electric heater you can add heat to a specific area you are in and leave the rest of the place colder. They can be dangerous because they can be fire hazards and often people forget to turn them off. Sally's answer: Most likely not but if you turn down the central heat and use it in one room with the doors closed, it will be less. Be careful it turn off the heater when you leave. Joanna's answer: I think it is more costly but if you need it because your space isn't heated or isn't heated well enough then you need something ... just remember to turn it off when you leave .
No not necessarily, you can also apply to many colleges as undecided. However some specialized colleges might ask you to apply with a major, such as, medical, art, engineering schools.
Michele's answer:
No, apply as undecided or liberal arts, Most schools don't make you declare a major until the end of Sophomore year. Even if you have chosen a major in Freshman year, you can change it. Just check your school's policies on switching.
Joanna's answer:
No you don't. Even after you have declared a major as you enter your sophomore or junior year, you can always apply to change it.
Cindy's answer: Its a preference.....I think it feels better than a blanket. Sally's answer: You don't have to but most inexpensive sheets are sold in sets (top,bottom and pillowcases) so you'll have it available to try. You'll probably like it the way you sleep while growing up. I like the top sheet in the summer time, much cooler than a blanket. Joanna's answer: Personal preference applies. If you have a comforter or duvet and you have the duvet cover for that, then no.... but if you have blankets or a quilt or a bedspread, you really want to have a sheet between you and the top layer. It keeps the blanket, quilt,or bedspread cleaner and you don't always want to be washing these.
Depends on the college/university but in most cases the school likes you to live in the dorm freshman year. If they don't offer dorm living then the colleges/universities usually have a housing office to help find apartments. It's really a good idea to live in the dorms freshman year in order to meet new friends.
Michele's answer:
Some schools insist on it, others strongly recommend it, the reason being that it's a good way to meet people and really feel like a part of the school. If you are really unhappy living in the dorm freshman year then see if you can find off campus housing and bring your problem to a school dorm administrator, If they won't let you move off campus, they may allow you to switch rooms. I think it's also important to remember that freshmen year of college is a big adjustment for many people, I know so many young people who were miserable freshmen year and ended up loving their school.
Joanna's answer:
Many colleges require you to live on campus your first year. It is a good idea, It gives you the opportunity to live the campus life and get close to your school and you may find the social intellectual interaction of life on campus stimulating.
Drugs and alcohol can make you feel sexually uninhibited. The feeling is pretty normal. But don't fall into the drunk hook-up pattern. When you do, you'll forget your protection, have sex with someone you wouldn't normal have sex with or worse get yourself in a date/rape situation. In most cases, these hook-ups won't turn into a meaningful relationship.
Michele's answer:
Yes, It's normal, but hooking up with a series of strangers is not safe or smart Good Lord, you could wake up with someone you wouldn't be caught dead with had you been sober.
Joanna's answer:
Oh yeah... alcohol and drugs can lead to uninhibited and unprotected and unconscious sex with strangers. This can be fun a couple of times. It is different if you at least end up with someone you know. That boy next door that you liked but didn't know if he was interested in you.... well after a keg of beer and a few shots he is very interested. It is best to know something about a sexual partner. Know someone that can vouch for them. If you are taking advantage of another person whose inhibitions are down and you know they are doing something that they wouldn't normally be into, then wake up and stand up to the challenge of repressing your sexual urges and take care of your friend. Friends can mess around, but it can be challenging. It can take a friendship to a place where you can't return from. So, be careful out there. If the only time you are having sex is when you are drunk, try going for a while without the liquid courage and see where that takes you... It could be even better when you don't have any questions about how she or he got there next to you.
Cindy's answer: Put a towel as a temporary fix. They sell a piece that fits on the bottom of the door to solve this problem at home depot or any hardware store. They also sell these cute stuffed snake type rolls that are prettier than a towel but leaves the problem of getting tossed around every time someone uses the door. Joanna's answer: There are these skiinny little bolsters things that they make for putting across the threshold of a closed door. I had one but it finally broke. It came with my Vermont house. I wonder if the Vermont Country Store has these? Simply, a rolled up towel will also help.
Sally's answer: Curtain, blinds or a tapestry. If it's really cold then you might need the plastic that goes over the windows, you can get it at homedepot.com with instruction. Joanna's answer: Curtains can help with window draft ( and privacy). There are some very simple expandable curtain hanging rods that hardware stores carry. Back in the day I had lots of Indian print hangings and I could use these as wall hangings and modest drapery. I think I just used tacks. I hadn't discovered these cool pressure rods.
A good place to start is with your guidance counselor. Think about what's most important and go from there, location, major, $$$,and whether if you need SAT scores. Financial aid needs to be explored because there are often solutions where you may have thought a school was unaffordable.
Sally's answer:
You usually start with your college adviser but pick up a college book at the library. They are huge books with every college in the country. There is a quiz on collegeboard.com that can help you narrow down colleges by area, grades and interest.You could start by picking a state, major, or size of the college. Also, ask around to friends and family.
Michele's answer:
OK, I agree you should start with a guidance counselor, college adviser. There are great books out there, and Princeton Review on-line can be very helpful. Start whittling down your options by thinking about what you want. Urban, suburban or rural, small or large, close to home or far away, highly academic, sports, classics. What do you want to do? A teaching College, Sciences, the Arts. Different colleges are good at different things. As for money, Yes, it's very important to your final decision, but don't eliminate a school because of the cost. See what kind of aid is available. There are so many scholarships and grants out there. If the school is really right for you and you are what they are looking for, they will help you with work scholarships, grants, sports scholarships. They offer scholarships to tuba players, if they have a marching band. Don't look at the cost until all avenues have been explored.
Joanna's answer:
There are great books with colleges and description of them. If they are not in your library, then check with your college counselor, or a local bookstore. Maybe you could share one with some friends. It is great to visit the colleges in your proximity. Take a road trip junior year with a friend or a parent. You get a better feel for a place when you are sitting in the quad or classroom. There are students who give tours. Be sure to look at the College Catalog of courses, course offerings. One of my sons was going to go to a college and we were looking at the list of classes for his entry, and we couldn't find courses that he was looking forward to in college. There can be some interesting options for math and english requirements. You might find the art department doesn't have the animation class you may have thought you wanted to try in college. Take a year off and work or travel if you can afford it and can have opportunity. It is best to get into several colleges first and ask for a year's deferment. Keep your options open. Don't close doors.
Nannette Fabray Says: There is a great website called Naviance that is available through some college guidance offices. College options are practically unlimited, and this site helps whittle things down to a manageable and informative selection.
michele Says: Thank You Nanette! Here's the link to Naviance. http://www.naviance.com/
Sally's answer: First, make sure the fire is completely out and the ashes are n longer hot. Scoop the ashes out with a small shovel into a metal container. Fireplace stores sell ash buckets and tool that would be good to have next to your fireplace for easy cleaning. You could also try homedepot.com for a set.
So, it's too late to drink responsibly, move on, Water and lots of it, drink water before going to bed if you can. If it's too late for that, start immediately. Sleep, stay in bed and sleep it off. Fruit or fruit juice to replenish Vitamin C, banana for potassium, Multiple B vitamins. Sport drinks to replenish electrolytes and help with the de-hydration. Eggs, if you can get them down, to replenish protein. More water. Even though coffee seems like a good idea, it causes more de-hydration More water. Take a shower and alternate hot and cold water. Canned fish and pickles replace minerals. Sweat, I know it's hard to think about getting off the bed (or floor) but drink more water and work out. And yes, there is always the hair of the dog, a Bloody Mary can take the edge off, but can also lead to AA, only use as a last resort, only drink one and spend the rest of the day taking care of yourself.
Also, before your next night out on the town, check out the responsible drinking blog, avoiding the hang-over is the best cure.
Nannette Fabray Says: When you first crack open your eyelids, eat some toast, drink water with mega vitamins and go back to sleep. My favorite cure was always a cheeseburger if you can stand it. But really hit the water intake!
Well, if you don't have a washing machine available you can either go to the laundromat or drop it off at a cleaners and they will do it for you. It is a little more expensive to drop it off but it may be worth it because you waste alot of time at a laundromat. If you do have access to a washer and dryer...here are the basics.
First you must seperate bright colors, mixed colors, and whites for best results. The whites can take some bleach and hot water if you're not afraid of shrinkage. You put in your clothes without overcrowding select water temp (cold will do the trick and save energy), and just read the dial to select the type of wash cycles.
Then dry...put in dryer and select according to the dial either timed dry or an automatic setting. The hot setting will be the one to shrink your clothes...so you might want to hang dry certain jeans, etc.
Sally's answer:
Michele's instruction are good. I'd only add if you have stain, then you should soak the area with cold water and add a spot cleaner before you add it to the machine. After you wash is done, you should decide what needs to go into the dryer and what needs to be hung up to air dry. It would be good to have a small drying rack for that.
Michele's answer:
First, separate your colors and make a few piles of laundry, i.e whites, colors, delicate. Load the first group (whites) Choose the size and temp. Usually do the whites in normal temp , add detergent (can use bleach for whites) and start the machine. Depending on the size of the load-it can take anywhere from 20-45 minutes. Dark clothes should be done in cold water. Extra dirty clothes need a longer cycle and hot water. Be careful with those reds, they can bleed and turn everything pink.
What can I say...I am impressed with your choice of those you admire as I have two sons on the Frends crew. Not all of us are born knowing our life purpose but you need not look at this as a burden but rather choose to embrace the process of self discovery. Your childhood can hold important insight into what naturally inspires you before the societal pressures of adulthood...was it art, music, helping others, science, sports, reading, etc. Find others who share your interests by making friends, reading, researching, experiencing, etc and here is where your passion for something can intensify. My boys didn't begin by being professional snowboarders or even making a decision to do that..they began by falling in love with a sport. My son Luke just interrupted this message with a phone call and I read him your question and here is what he said "tell him to follow his heart." He then mentioned the law of attraction....this is best presented inthe famous movie or book The Secret and can be very motivational. I think my son Jack would say don't be afraid to "go big!" Have fun and good luck!
Sally's answer:
Deciding what to do with your life is a process that can change as your life changes. Always go with you passion. If you're not sure what your passion is then try going to school or take classes in things that might interest you. If school isn't your thing, then maybe an interning in different jobs can help with the decision making. The main thing is not to stress about figuring out your life, go with the flow of life and usually you'll get signals along the way. The boys in the Frends crew are all hardworking and flexible people. Whether it's snowboarding in competitions or coming out with a new products, they never stop working for their goals. This is why their successful in their passions. Life is a journey, enjoy!
There is a putty and 3m makes a product for this too. The hardware store would carry these.
Sally's answer:
Putty is the best for the walls. You could use small tacks but they will leave a tiny hole in the wall.
Joanna's answer:
Sticky Tac . It is this putty stuff that is safe for paper and walls. It won't be strong enough to hold up large things though. You may have to use some very very small nails or tacks and then fill them in later.
Cindy's answer: If you are unsure measure the it crib 28x52, twin 39x75 (single),full 54x75 (double), queen, long twin mattress 36x80, queen 60x80, king 76x80, california king 72x84 Sally's answer: cindy's got it
Cindy's answer: Not so easy....... many prices and sizes. If you are allergic get a foam or down alternative A good down pillow is an investment but can be heavenly and good for sweet dreams.
Every state has different requirments. Check out this site to learn the procedure in your state. electionland.com/. You must be 18 years old by the time of the election, a US citizen and usually you need to live in the area you plan to vote in for a certain period of time. If you will not be in your voting area at the time of the election, you can apply for an absentee ballot. Again, different states have different guidlines. There are online applications for registration. Try www.rockthevote.org/ and often, especially in an election year, groups make it easier to register by setting up tables on college campuses.
Craigslist is a popular place to start, local papers, even real estate brokers, there are often room mate wanted ooards in colleges. You will usually be asked for a security deposit and one month's rent. Today they may do a credit check and ask for references to check your character.
Sally's answer:
There are a couple of ways to find an apartment. Newspapers, craiglist, a rental agent, etc. Once you find the housing you like, you'll receive a lease. Make sure you read and understand everything on the lease. If you have questions show it to someone who can explain it (your parents,lawyer). You will have to go through a credit and reference check. Depending on the agreement, be prepared to pay a security deposit as well as you monthly rent at lease signing. Check out inchargehousing.org
Michele Says: Thanks Kaity, I'm with you, Much of what I own even now is from family and friends. Check out some of the old blogs on Re-cycling and Decorating
Kaity Says: Check with family members and friends someone may be getting rid of some of their furniture and will let you have it either very cheap or for free.
Grampadan Says: If it's OLD, & not broken, it will continue to last.
Unlike chipboard, which will break when hardware is stressed (make sure screws are reasonably Tight) and will fall apart when it gets wet (soaked - moving, overflows, big storm)
As building manager, I had to take lots of trashed modern stuff to the curb.
Cindy's answer: Good luck..they sell a universal remote which you would have to program. It might be easier to organize them..I have seen a velcro to stick on the machine so you know what it's for. You can put them in a basket or box on the coffee table. Sally's answer: Stop by your local appliance store and purchase an universal remote. They will give instructions on usage and the products sales person will also be able to hep you consolidate.
Try using your sense of humor to say it in a nice way. You will have to speak up.
Sally's answer:
You need to speak to your roommates about putting some money into the food budget. Even if it's a few dollars a week. Set up a jar in the kitchen and everyone can throw in their change. You'd be surprised how quickly the money will add up. They also might want to share in the cooking if they have contributed in any way.
Michele's answer:
If you are making food with no intention of sharing it, package the left-overs, put your name on the package and ask your roommates not to eat it. If they don't respect your wishes ask them to replace the food or give you money to buy lunch. They'll get the idea. The best thing to do when sharing a house is to decide whether each roommate will buy their own food or if you will share expenses and cooking in advance.
Sally's answer: Stay away from hard liquor. Most teens make the mistake of mixing a liquor (like vodka or rum) with fruity drinks because it's easier to get down. Then what happens, you drink too much because it tastes like soda and you get really drunk, pass out or throw up. You don't mix anything into beer or wine so you're getting the exact taste.
Try a chilled glass of wine wine with a splash or seltzer, glass of champagne or an ice cold beer. Michele's answer: My friends practiced drinking with their daughter before sending her off to college. The memory still makes me smile. Their daughter wasn't a party girl and really did not like the taste of alcohol. White wine or a cold beer is a good choice at a party. Drink slowly, sip it don't chug it and be very careful. Learn your limits. Even my friends well trained daughter had a bad night involving Jello shots. Luckily, she had good friends to help her. Joanna's answer: If you are really new to drinking alcoholic be sure to let a good friend in on your secret. Or don't keep it a secret. Stay with beer or white wine. Even dilute your wine if you are worried. Sip it.... Enjoy it( if it is good enough to enjoy). See how it feels. Do not step right into cocktails and hard liquor. No shots for you for a while, perhaps. Just get your feet wet before you dive in.
Grampadan Says: You DON'T have to use heroin, tobacco or alcohol to have a good life and good friends.
If you do indulge, make sure your friends are good friends, with your best interests at heart.
You absolutely need to have food! Beside the fact that food will help soak up the alcohol, how boring you're party would be without food. Try having a theme food night, you can pair food with cocktails, Mexican, Asian, New Orleans or football parties. Have your friends plan to do some cooking at the party as well. This also helps will the alcohol consumption, keep the hands busy!
Michele's answer:
Yes please, First off it's a party, it's only right to offer your guests food and drink. Secondly, food slows the emptying of the stomach and therefore slows the absorption of alcohol into the system. In other words, your friends are less likely to get too drunk too fast. Food has a sobering effect. Salty food, however, will make people drink more, notice how bars often put out bowls of pretzels and peanuts? They are not doing it to be polite. You, on the other hand, have invited your friends to a party, presumably because you like them. Serve sandwiches, or cheese and crackers at least, Give your guests something to do besides drink. Also, serve non-alcoholic alternatives, water, soda, juice and if your friends do drink too much, don't let them drive, arrange for designated drivers, or a place for them to crash.
Cindy's answer: Your friends can get in trouble with the police and so can the person allowing the under age drinking. You will have to set the limits early on....you can always blame it on your mother! Sally's answer: Since the laws in the United States are very strict on underage drinking, you would be the responsible person. If your party was visited by police while underage kids are drinking, they can write you a ticket, bust the party or put you in jail. If someone gets into a car accident leaving your party you can also be held responsible if that person was drinking. I wish I could say, not to worry but you should. The 21 year old drinking law seems a bit ridiculous when you think that you can vote, drive vehicles and go to war and just about every other country in the world has a 18 or 19 drinking age. However, this is the law that we're dealt so you must deal with it in an adult way.
Cindy's answer: Simple, simple, simple! No one likes to see the host/hostess stressed at a party so start out simple and organized. Something made in advance is easy like lasagna, stew, etc It is fun to make up a drink to serve that goes with your party that can be premixed. Set the table ahead of time. Today you may need to provide a vegetarian option so maybe you could coordinate it with the meal..like rice and beans or a first pasta course. One dessert does the trick.l Sally's answer: Try to keep it simple and do as much as you can before hand. It's so much better to be able to talk with your guests instead of being chained to the kitchen while entertaining. Make a nice salad, 1 pot entree like a chicken parm, lasagna or pasta with veggies and meat. Perhaps buy cookies/chocolate or have slice fruit for dessert. Buy some flowers for your table and a nice bottle of wine. You could also get your guests involved and make sushi or fajitas together. Just do all the prep before they come.
The most important thing now is to find a way to clear up this mess and make sure you do graduate. Make a plan that makes it happen for you. If you do this you will show your friends and relatives that you are in control of your life and that you will make them proud of you. They will understand and admire you for working out this difficult situation.
Sally's answer:
The first thing you need to do is to go to the guidance counselor and find out for sure whether or not you are graduating. If you are, then no problem. If you're short a few credits, find out if they will allow you to walk in graduation and make up the credits over the summer. This could happen if it's a private school. If you do not have the credits to graduate then get a complete list of things you need to do to complete your high school. It will make you feel better if you have a clear picture of what you need to do and have a game plan on how to do it. Have you told your parents? Have them handle the questions from the aunts and uncles. If you feel awkward about them, write them a note later. Everyone makes mistakes in life, they should understand.
Michele's answer:
I'm sorry this happened to you. As Sally said, there is a possibility that the school will let you walk with your class if you agree to finish course work over the summer. As embarrassing as it may be to admit that you are not graduating on time, the real problem here is getting the credits you need to graduate. See your guidance counselor, talk to your teachers, and talk to your parents if you can. If your family is caring enough to want graduation pictures, they probably care enough to forgive you for not being on the 4 year plan, don't lie to them, but do get that diploma, or GED, not for your family, for yourself.
Joanna's answer:
Wow this is difficult. So close and things fall apart. It is hard to answer without all the information, but I guess the question is really what do you tell people. If you made some mistakes of judgment and got into trouble, sometimes that is hard to tell your grandmother, but for most relatives, we have all made mistakes in our lives that we may understand that you can also make such mistakes. Some mistakes are harder to live with than others. If it is that you have failed to get the credits you need, then see if you can walk with the class and finish the credits in summer school. If that is important to you to walk.... If the ceremony isn't important to you, then explain that to your relatives. They may be relieved that they don't have to travel to your graduation and sit while 1029 students walk up to receive there diploma. Good Luck.
No, at 18 you can legally get a piercing. Because a piercing can in time leave a permanent hole think carefully about what could be a permanent impact on your body.
Sally's answer:
No, but try to make a good decision before you do it and tell your parents. No one really likes surprises and they probably will be okay with it (depending on what you're piercing).
Michele's answer:
No, You might want to mention it to them and see if they have any objections. If you're lucky, they might buy you an ornament. I just need to add that tongue piercings are really prone to infection and can be painful. Make sure you follow-up with after care.
Joanna's answer:
It is legal to pierce whatever you want to at 18. Don't go crazy. Be thoughtful and just start slow. You probably already have an ear or two pierced. If you want the big ear holes do your research. Ask some one you see and whose ornaments you admire and see if they have regretted any of their piercings. Have some of them been inconvenient, even gotten in the way of a job promotion because of criticism from a boss or client or customer in a work place. People who have piercings I have found to be very forthcoming in conversation about them. Janet Jackson even talked to Oprah about the recurring pleasure derived of having her nipples pierced. Compliments to someone whose piercings you admire are usually well received. Open up the conversation. Remember though, that your mother probably won't enjoy your new piercings. We moms still feel like that beautiful body we gave you is still a part of our own. Sorry, but we still want to protect you from the infections you may get from having a piercing jarred from time to time. Also I think that moms don't want you to be judged by others less open minded because of your appearance.
Michele Says: Thanks Erika, It is good to hear a young person's perspective, especially one so wise.
Erika Lee Says: I agree...even though 18 is the legal age people really should talk about it with their parents. I did with my mother and we had agreed that i could get a peircing "AS LONG AS" i am able to cover it up when out in certain places. Im glad my mother and i had made that agreement because alot of my friends that have random peircings tend to have problems when it comes to their jobs.
No, but parents have wisdom. The problem with tattoos is they never go away. Life has a habit of changing and skin has a habit of sagging. So think carefully before getting a tattoo.
Sally's answer:
You don't need permission but my advice is to not get a tattoo. If you want to have something temporary just a henna one.
Michele's answer:
No, no permission necessary, but if you have a good relationship with your parents, let them know what you're thinking about. They may have some advice and will appreciate just having been asked for input.
Joanna's answer:
When you are 18 you can do it all except drink. Think about the tattoo. Get something that your mom might like. My son has some incredible tattoos, but I wish they were flowers and not skulls! They are very cool though, and I respect his right to express himself with this body art.
Cindy's answer: Air beds are suprisingly comfortable and inexpensive Michele's answer: Try a futon-it's both a couch and a bed Joanna's answer: The inflatable beds are not very expensive and my son loves his and says it is very comfortable. You will need to also buy the electric pump. Play with the air pressure for your comfort. Also the old school futon, a cotton mattress that you can roll up or fold up into a couch. You can buy the frame or try doing with out one.
Grampadan Says: A recliner, at yard sale - if shredded by a cat, will be very affordable. Add a classy throw, pref. from same yard sale.
(spend some time in it - is it Really comfortable? Fits YOU? Curl up all night, as I did for years?
Cindy's answer: only you can prioritize, air beds may be a good temporary choice, craigslist can be great to save money, tag sales, and consignment Michele's answer: bed,tv and a cheap couch
Yes, this is a fair proposal. They should be happy to chip in especially because you are doing the driving.
Sally's answer:
First of all, I would hope that your friends would at least offer. If they haven't, put a little change box on your dashboard with a sign that says gas money and your friends will probably start throwing some change in it.
Michele's answer:
Yes, gas is expensive and car pooling is great for the environment and for your pocketbook. If your friends don't offer, feel free to ask nicely. "Hey, guys, I don't mind driving, but can you help with gas?". Or suggest that you take turns driving if your friends also have cars. Don't be taken advantage of just because you have a generous nature.
Anytime you mix alcohol with any kind of drug, legal or illegal, it can be a dangerous combination. Because alcohol is legal, you can find out the % alcohol content of a drink. You can't do that with weed. Michele has also mentioned that marijuana can be "laced" with a different drug. There isn't a list of ingredients on weed. And besides all the information, I think you need to look why do you want to get so f-ed up.
Michele's answer:
I am not about to tell you it's safe; go out and get shit-faced. It's not safe. Of the two drugs, alcohol is definitely the more dangerous, but it is legal if you are 21 or older, and can be enjoyed in moderation. Pot, on the other hand is illegal and can get you in trouble. If you are going to smoke weed and drink, know where the weed is coming from. So much is laced with more dangerous drugs these days. Be with people you trust to keep you out of trouble. Realize that this could cause embarrassing behavior, mistakes you may really regret, physical damage to yourself or someone else and finally, a hefty fine or jail time. Do you have a prescription for medical marijuana in a state that allows it? If not, don't be stupid.
Joanna's answer:
Safety... yeah.... not really wearing the safety badge when you are drinking and smoking. BE SURE you aren't driving. Have a DESIGNATED DRIVER or STAY WHERE YOU ARE or TAKE A CAB. The pot that is available to you today is much stronger than the pot in the old days. Too much of anything good is not a good thing anymore. Just because you like it all, doesn't mean you should do it all at the same time. Be cautious. You are responsible for your own actions.
Try not to drink when you are taking medication for a headache or cold. You might think that the over the counter drugs are harmless when mixed with alcohol, it's the opposite. There's been studies about liver damage with over use of these drugs and when combined with alcohol, it could be much worse. Also, if you're sick, I don't think drinking alcohol has ever been a remedy for the common cold. Although my grandmother wanted to give me blackberry wine when I was sick, I immediately threw up!
Michele's answer:
Tylenol and other acetaminophen products have been shown to cause liver damage when combined with alcohol. Advil and ibuprofen products combined with alcohol can cause stomach problems including bleeding, so no, it's not a good idea to combine them. It's really not a good idea to combine any other drugs with alcohol. If you are taking something for pain or for a cold or allergy, hold off on drinking until you are better.
Cindy's answer: I Will Survive, One Less Bell to Answer, You're No Good, I'm a Loser, the hits keep coming..Lucinda Williams is great to share anger with. Sally's answer: Breaking up is hard to do? Michele's answer: "slip out the back, Jack, get a new plan Stan, no need to be coy Roy, just get yourself free." Paul Simon, 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover Joanna's answer: ---Temptations (also Hall and Oates ) Standing in the Shadows of Love ==Todd Rundgren Can we still be Friends ?--Come back when you grow up girl ... ( not good )
Maybe try being honest. Ask her when she needs it and say you want to wear it too in the next couple of days so you need it back perfect. If she screws up she will get it that she is being disrespectful and you have a right not to lend her anything else.
Sally's answer:
Ask for everything back and never lend then your clothes again.
Tough one.I think this is a case by case answer. I think a good rule may be don't lend money to anyone if you really need it back. It's an idea to ask the parents but I would say only if they can afford it because really it is between you and your friend and your friend should ask his/her parents before you do.
Sally's answer:
Talk to your friend first and tell them you are desperate for your money. Maybe you didn't make it clear that you needed it back. There is a difference between giving and lending. Make sure you make a schedule for repayment when you lend. I wouldn't go to the parents. They probably don't realize you lent money in the first place. In the long run, try not to get into this habit. Money and friends don't mix well.
Michele's answer:
Talk to your friend first. If you go to his/her parents you might not have that friend anymore. "Neither a borrower nor a lender be, loan oft losses self and friend" paraphrased Shakespeare here. It's hard to pressure a friend for money owed, but if you really need the money, and your friend is unable to pay it, ask him/her to go to their parents or you will have to.
Sally's answer: It's really nice that your friend has given the offer to stay over their house and you don't need to find a sober ride home after a party. Don't assume that your friend will have a bed for everyone. Have an overnight bag with comfy clothes, toothbrush, pillow and blanket. Always have things in your car to make you comfortable and be on hand in the morning to help clean or cook breakfast. We have hosted a few parties and I loved the morning breakfast talk about the night before and really appreciate the kids that clean and help around the house. I always remember those kids and make sure they're comfortable the next time. Michele's answer: Bring whatever makes you comfortable. Pajamas, toothbrush, change of clothes for the morning. Is everyone staying? You may want to bring a sleeping bag. My kids always stayed at the homes of people who gave parties where alcohol was served and driving home was not an option. Everyone did. We don't want you drinking and driving. They slept in their clothes and came home early the next morning, or called me to come for them. If this is a more formal invitation, bring a small gift to say thank you.
Sally's answer: Maybe your friends don't care if you're not into partying. If they do care, then maybe you should find a new group to hang out with that might have more similar interests. The older you get, hopefully this will be a problem that will go away. But if you feel you must hang with them, here's a little trick I told my girls- get a beer, go to the bathroom and pore it out and fill it with water. Sip on the can all night and your friends will be too drunk to know that it's water. Michele's answer: It's not easy, at first, to be the only person at a party who isn't drinking or getting high when everyone else is, but it is important to do what is right for you. I never enjoyed smoking pot, I will admit to trying several times, it just wasn't my thing. I soon learned that when the joint got passed to me, I could just pass it to the next person and no one seemed to notice. Do you feel stupid because others make you feel that way or are you just uncomfortable being the only straight and sober person in a room full of drunken, stoned people? Sometimes, it's just hard to be in a room full of people acting stupid. If that's the case, leave. Find new people to hang out with. There are a lot of young people out there who don't drink or drug. Offer to be the designated driver if these really are your friends and you enjoy them. They will appreciate you for it. (if they are making you feel stupid, they are not your friends). The important thing is to be yourself, don't let anyone make you do what you don't want to do. And don't do anything you don't want to do just to be like everyone else.
Sally's answer: You probably have heard or experienced the term "beer muscle." Alcohol can sometimes make people feel empowered, smarter and stronger. It's a false sense of reality. Everyone reacts differently with drugs and alcohol but my experience is that pot smokers tend to get relaxed. I always heard of a barroom brawl, not a bong brawl. Michele's answer: Hmm, In my experience, people who drink too much do get rowdy and rambunctious, and stupid, Fights are more likely to start and people say things they don't mean and would never say if they weren't under the influence. On the other hand, people smoking pot get mellow and giggly and also say things they wouldn't say if they weren't under the influence but are more loving and silly then mean. Why? different drugs have different effects. Pot smokers also get the munchies so you'd be more inclined to find better snacks at a pot party Much nicer.
Cindy's answer: Maybe ask them to be part of making a system for the house to follow. You can have someone do garbage all the time or rotate weeks. Dishes would be best done by whoever is eating in the kitchen...but if one cooks they might get out of dishes etc. Good luck. Sally's answer: You could probably start with rules and lists-split the duties. Maybe your roomie really hates dishes but will take out the garbage and do the recycling. Pick your strong suit and remember to communicate. This is probably the 2nd most annoying thing about having roommates. State the facts and try to work with it, try not to make mountains out of molehills.
Cindy's answer: Yuck.....you need a 2 bedroom or a new roommate..or maybe they'll break up. You have a right to discuss eachother's rights and feelings about sharing a room, but this is a difficult spot for you unless the lovers might have an alternative spot. Maybe you can leave your schedule and ask if they might try working around it. Turn the TV or music up and ignore them. Sally's answer: I guess the first question to ask yourself, how good of a friend is this? If this is your best friend, then you need to set some ground rules about sleepovers. Remember, the tables could turn and it could be you having the friend the following week so make the rules something you both can live with. First, you need to let each other know in advance if you have a sleep over. Plan to sleep on the couch that night. You really don't want to be in the bedroom while they're there. Make that a night you're seeing other friends, then come home, turn on the tv. try to respect each others feelings, sometimes things aren't planned but if it happens too often without notice, then that is a planned happening.
Let's face it, it's a good friend who helps you move. If you are lucky enough to have wonderful friends to help you then make sure you treat them to all drinks and food to show your appreciation. Do not ask your friends for help unless you would be willing to help them when they move. Try to make it fun, some music and laughter.
Sally's answer:
If you ask, you must be ready to help out when they ask you. The more friends, the quicker it goes. Make sure to get them a thank you gift, like a case of beer or bouquet of flowers.
Cindy's answer: cell phone is enough these days, yes a TV is essential Michele's answer: I agree with Joanna, an ipod is the best space saver and must everyone has a cell phone so there' really not a need for a land line phone. Forget the TV-you should be studying. Joanna's answer: An ipod and ipod dock with speakers would be today's choice. We don't all need a TV either. If your friends have one then you can get together. Also you can catch the news on the radio and on line. Movies are also available on line. A good laptop, cell phone and an ipod are the essentials. Then see what your friends or housemates come in with and go from there.
Cindy's answer: If you can afford it a moving company is the easiest. It's a money thing and a distance thing. You will have to get an estimate from a moving company so you can weigh this out Michele's answer: You usually have to be over 25 to rent any vehicle. There are plenty of moving companies that advertise on line and will give estimates. Check out all the options. Joanna's answer: You probably won't have enough to fill a truck when you are first starting out . If you do then you may be able to rent a truck . If you are too young to rent a truck , then perhaps you have an older friend who can help you with the rental agency . If you are moving in with other people , then you can go in on the rental with the others .If you are spending the day moving , be sure to watch you timing . Get started early . It always takes more time than you plan and getting the rental back at the end of the day when you are tired or when you have to deal with traffic at the end of the day to get it in , If you need to have friends help get the rental truck for you you should be sure to take care of them . Get some pizza , make sandwiches , have a picnic planned , the nice thing would be to have them over for dinner soon after you are set up in your new place .
Sally's answer: Probably not your smartest idea. If you're offered a ride home, a place to sleep or a taxi home - take it. You could get a DUI violation for being in your car drunk even if you're sleeping. The other thing is that you're not in your right mind when drinking and if you get into the car drunk you might start driving. I know a kid that went to his car drunk to sleep and "woke up " as he was having a car accident. Thankfully no one was hurt.
Why not wait? You will feel more confident and be more in control of your feelings. Is there trust between you? Use protection always.
Sally's answer:
Wait, don't give it up that easily. Have a few dates to get to know the person better, it might make your first time a bit more passionate.
Joanna's answer:
If you know that person well, very well, then you may just be taking the friendship to the next level. If this is someone you have admired from afar, then wait, and take the time to know more about them. It is surprising how much we may not know about the people around us. I don't mean to sound paranoid, I just want you to play safe.
Cindy's answer: Yes, you should have a mug for you own tea, etc Michele's answer: coffee mugs and eco-friendly water bottles. You'll probably have a food card for the dorm at least your first year. Joanna's answer: A mug and a cereal / noodle bowl and spoon /fork should do it
Cindy's answer: They are a storage unit that the company will deliver to your property and you fill at your leisure...when ready they pick it up and deliver it to your new place Michele's answer: This means portable on demand storage. They are storage units that you pack yourself and stored in a warehouse when you're done.
Sally's answer: It's always fun to have a theme to your party. Super bowl-chili, chicken wings, cole slaw. Summer BBQ-BBQ chicken, grilled veggies, corn on the cob. Italian night-sausage and peppers, pasta, risotto- Check out party foods under the recipe area for more ideas.
Cindy's answer: If you just go through what your typical day is like....sheets, pillow, and blanket to sleep. atleast enough dishes to eat...a mug for coffee and tea...a tea pot. Furniture...bed, table and chairs, sofa, TV Joanna's answer: A plunger for toilet clogs is something every bathroom needs. It can prevent some embarrassing moments.
Cindy's answer: Ikea has these great peel away wall paper stickers that are stylish, photos always look good if you mat and frame them to coordinate, you can stretch a piece of fabric like a canvas, mirrors are always fun Michele's answer: tapestries, decorative blankets... just check the dorm to make sure they don't interfere with the sprinklers. Joanna's answer: How about some large scarves . Make a collage from magazine cutouts . Fold outs from your favorite snowboard magazine .
Cindy's answer: In boxes under the bed, in a trunk Joanna's answer: I love trunks . Try looking on line for some good ones . You can store bedding , towels ,pillows , extra blankets , Sports equipment , hobby /craft supplies . Also the crate is handy . They used to be old milk crates and people would steal them from markets but now they make them just for storage . They can be stacked to make some kind of shelving .... even used for a nightstand and storage .
Sally's answer: Eat, arrange for a ride home, have your cell phone charged, money, id, credit card. Go out with your friends, not alone. Michele's answer: Eat, it helps with alcohol absorption. Make sure you have a designated driver and a back up plan like enough money for a taxi if your DD bails on you. If sexual encounters are part of your plan, carry protection. Make sure that someone knows where you are going.
The flu can be confused with allergies...but generally the flu includes fever, body aches, runny nose, headache. Certain flus are stomach related and diarrhea and vomiting. Flus are contagious unlike allergies.
Sally's answer:
Stuffy head, sore throat,headache, fever, body aches. Feeling like you've been hit by a truck. There is also an intestinal flu with vomiting and diarrhea.
Michele's answer:
All types of flu can cause:
Fever* or feeling feverish/chills
Coughing and/or sore throat
Runny or stuffy nose
Headaches and/or body aches
Chills
Fatigue
Some people may have vomiting and diarrhea, though this is more common in children than adults.
* It's important to note that not everyone with flu will have a fever.
Joanna's answer:
Head ache , light headedness , body aches , chills (fever), cold be stuffy head and congestion depending on the kind ... sometimes this stuffy head comes later .
Sally's answer: Throwing up is a good thing when someone has had too much to drink. Get them to a bathroom and stay with them, don't leave your friend alone or let them pass out. If you're friend is uncontrollably vomiting, call 911 and get help from paramedics. Michele's answer: It is really important for everyone to know the signs of alcohol poisoning. Confusion, vomiting, slow or irregular breathing, paleness or a blue shade to the skin, seizures, low-body temperature and passing out all indicate alcohol poisoning, and your friend doesn't need to show all the signs to be affected. If your friend is throwing up, but conscious, stay with them, do not let them pass out or sleep it off. Alcohol weakens the gag reflex and most deaths from alcohol poisoning occur when the victim chokes on his or her own vomit. If your friend is passed out and vomiting turn them on their side and keep the airways clear. If your friend is passed out or vomiting continuously, uncontrollably CALL 911 Your friend needs a doctor. One of the biggest problems I have with the 21 drinking age is that younger people are drinking in unsupervised settings and are afraid to ask for help when they need it. This is not the time to worry about getting yourself or your friend in trouble. Your friend is already in trouble, real trouble, and lucky to have a friend like you who is willing to help. Check the website below for more info.
Sally's answer: If you live with your parents and they know you're having a party, let them speak to the uninvited guests and get them to leave. Usually a kids isn't going to give a parent a hard time. Call a local cab company to arrange rides for some that are drinking and can't leave on their own. Cell phone and texting are the major reason today why parties can get out of control quickly. It can be the domino effect, everyone will think one person won't make a difference. However if 30 all text a friend, most likely that will double the party numbers. I heard of one party in NJ when the person throwing the party left and called the police on his own party to get rid of everyone. I wouldn't recommend this but it cleared his house. Michele's answer: Oh, I hate this question. Are you tough with a loud voice? Then announce to everyone that it's time to leave and escort them to the door No? Do you have any friends who can play the bouncer role. Get them to help you. You can also announce that the neighbors called to complain and the police are on the way. That might clear the place. As Sally said, you can call the police yourself and no one will suspect it was you, but then you run the risk of being held responsible for any underage drinkers. The fact of the matter is if your party is so out of control that you fear for your home, your things or your friends, if a fight breaks out or people are so drunk or drugged they could end up in the ER or worse, then call for help. Maybe a parent or trusted adult can help you but if you feel that this is a dangerous situation, call 911. A fine or a ticket can be paid off and forgotten, but if anything happens to a friend or even to an uninvited guest, you'll regret it the rest of your life.
Cindy's answer: bed, desk, and bureau Michele's answer: bed, desk, chest of drawers, closet..optional lifts to loft the bed, blind on the window Joanna's answer: Bed , desk , bureau , closet
Michele's answer: futon on a stand-can be used for bed or couch, coffee table ( use old egg crates with a piece of wood on top, lamp Joanna's answer: A mattress or air mattress. How about a trunk that can be used for storage and as a coffee table or night stand? A reading lamp. A chair and a small table that could be a desk. You may not even need a dresser as there are closets most houses and apartments.
Cindy's answer: Kmart Walmart Ikea all sell glasses for about a dollar apiece that are worth it if you have alot of parties. Otherwise, paper and plastic are so so easy for clean-up but not great for the environment. Sally's answer: If you're on a limited budget, I would invest in tall water glasses and a basic white wine glass. You can serve non alcohol as well as mixed drinks in the tall water glasses. In the white wine glass you can serve red or white wine, champagne and sparkling water. No one is going to complain about the wrong glass as long as it's clean and not plastic!
Cindy's answer: You put a blanket inside it...usually a down comforter that you may want to protect as you can wash the duvet and not the blanket which is way easier...you can also change the look of your bed and keep your same blanket Joanna's answer: A duvet cover covers and protects your duvet . A duvet is a wonderful thing... a comforter , a fluffy filled blanket . In order to keep the duvet in good shape it is nice to have a cover you can wash. It is like a giant pillow case for the duvet.
Sally's answer: Michele has good advice here. You might want to check the laws in your area about noise complaints. Where my girls grew up, if you could hear the music in the evening, you could complain. Make sure you playing good music, maybe your neighbors won't complain if they like it. Above all, be polite! Michele's answer: Be polite, You don't have to let them in, but if there has been a noise complaint, It's best to turn it down. Check the local ordinances regarding noise, and turn down the volume at whatever time it becomes illegal. Police can not enter your house without probable cause, but if they see minors leaving the party drunk, that is probable cause. Don't invite trouble, If your neighbors called the police, and you are disobeying the local ordinances, the police have a right to enforce those ordinances, so you may as well say "sorry officer" and turn it down before they break up the party. Maybe you want to invite the neighbors?
White dishes are always great because they show off the colors of the food. If you are buying dishes thrift shops and antique stores can be a great place as people often get rid of old dishes. For new Target and Ikea are great. Even unmatched dishes can be charming.
Sally's answer:
If you're on a limited budget, I would suggest white dinnerware. It goes with anything and you can also dress it up with your table lines, flowers and later accessorize with fun salad plates. Food also looks good on white dishes. You'll need dinner plates, salad plates ( can use for both salad and dessert if need be) and glasses. A lot of stores now sell inexpensive sets of dishes. Take a looks at Target and Bed Bath and Beyond. You might also want to check out your local thrift shops and get a collection of different dishes.
Joanna's answer:
I would also suggest white dishes if you are just starting out and want to be able to set a nice table once in a while or mix with different serving pieces that you might collect as you go. They will mix well with what ever a friend brings over for pot luck. It can also be fun to be eclectic and pick up dishes you love as you see them and mix and match. This can be beautiful if you have a theme... mine is usually anything with flowers... specifically pansies even better. If you see a great item with Pansies on it , let me know! I also think that solid colors mixed is another great table setting dish theme plan. Fiesta Ware is a famous classic for diner style and it is being reproduced by others and can be found anywhere from Williams Sonoma, Sur la Table, and my favorite, Fishes Eddie in Gramercy Park in New York City. Fishes Eddy also has some great flatware. The prices are great and they always have something on SALE. They have a wedsite too... fishseddy.com. Enjoy!
Cindy's answer: Nice bedding is fun, a bulletin board for photos, posters, who can resist a lava lamp Joanna's answer: Waste basket, laundry hamper, hangers, sheets(top sheet, fitted sheet, pillow cases), pillow, blanket /comforter, 2 bath towels, two wash clothes , hand/face towel, cereal/soup bowl, coffee/tea mug, knife, fork, spoon, pitcher ( for sharing beverages or watering plants or could be used as a vase for flowers), desk lamp, wall hanging /posters, family photos, a favorite photo with friends.
I think hooking up means what it sounds like, in a relationship implies exclusivity, and dating is open to interpretation.
Sally's answer:
I wish I knew! I feel that I need to call my daughters on this one, I always get the terminology wrong. Please, someone send me the right answer.
Michele's answer:
Hooking up is an expression I use all the time to mean we're getting together. My daughter is constantly telling me I don't know what it means, so I assume it means having sex. Dating means going out, spending time together with the idea of a little romance. Being in a relationship means you are with someone special and aren't looking for anything else.
Joanna's answer:
Hooking up can be used several ways. I got you hooked up for tickets to some great music, for example. But when talking about social definitions in a sexual way, hooking up just means making out and/or having sex. Even people dating can hook up. Hook up, shack up, we should start a list of different ways to say having sex.The term "Shag" I hadn't heard until the Austin Powers movies. I thought it was so cute. I think it comes from our good old 60's shag carpeting. Lots of rug burns from the shag carpet? Dating can be the beginning of a wonderful thing. If someone wants to get to know you better you should go on dates. But mostly today, don't you just get together and hang out with with friends? Dating is what you do on these single websites. You need to make a date just to meet the person. When it turns into a relationship, then it will be obvious. You aren't looking with interest at other possiblilties... at least publicly... and take your name off the dating searches too.
Salvation Army, craigslist, tag sales, Target, Ikea, consignment shops
Michele's answer:
Target, Bed, Bath and Beyond.. also try 2nd hand shops for furniture, yard sales, flea markets
Joanna's answer:
Yard sales, as they call them out West, tag sales back East. Some catalog stores , such as Crate and Barrel have great items on sale from time to time. Ask your parents and relatives about old discarded furniture in the attic, basement, garage, and barn. Goodwill outlets, Salvation Army, consignment shops, flea markets. Also check the local papers for their listings for used furnuture. You can find some nice stuff if you want to browse the want adds.
Everywhere...Target, Bed Bath and Beyond. Macys, Salvation Army, Thrift shops, Consignment shops, Pier I.....The bulletin board in the dorms
Sally's answer:
Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, thrift shops
Michele's answer:
You need bedding, make sure you'll be warm, hangers, desk organizers, a shower caddy and, if you are my daughter, a shoe organizer. Try Bed, Bath and Beyond or Target. Don't spend a lot and keep everything to a minimum, there is nothing you can't get later.
Joanna's answer:
Crate and Barrel ,Pier 1 Imports , Linens and Things ,
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Why is my gravy so lumpy?
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